I decided it was time to “repaint” the old FEMA trailer that’s been sitting out in the front yard. It’s been there well over a year now, unused, while we wait on FEMA’s engineering reports on what’s to finally be done about the house repairs. The worst part is that once they actually do something we may have to “live” in the piece of crap. Hard to believe but it has room for 8 people to sleep inside, talk about cramped. Sardines have more space to move around. LOL

I came across this cool quote from Ronald Reagan that sums up the governments laggardly response to Katrina.

“The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’” Doesn’t that just say it all? hehe

And speaking of Ronald Reagan, I came across this old cigarette advertisement. Gotta love the “Christamas Card” cartons. Hey Ron, I’ll take a dozen!

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I got a brand new toy a couple of weeks ago and I just can’t stop playing with the damn thing. No it’s not a sex toy, minds out of the gutter please! Although it is almost as fun as sex.

It’s a new LG cu500 cellphone that’s also a music player and a video camera. My old Motorola was getting pretty tired and since I was eligible for an upgrade I decided to go for something really nice. It has a removable 1 gigabyte memory card that can hold up to 250 mp3 or wma songs or 3,000 photos or 300 minutes of video! The memory card even fits in my regular digital camera, so it’s very versatile. Granted, the video quality is pretty low, but the photo quality is pretty damn good, I’m really quite impressed.

And the data is all transferable back and forth to my PC thru a USB cable. It runs on At&T’s new high speed data 3G network and it has quad band so it can be used anywhere in the world. The music player is basically identical to an iPod with song shuffle and repeat and you can create custom playlists. I never imagined a cellphone could be so much fun to play with. Now if it just vibrated a little stronger…

Not a week goes by without a roofing contractor stopping in and asking if we need a new roof put on the old place. They always make it sound like they’re the very first ones to notice too… I can’t imagine why they would think we need a new roof, do you? Just because the tarps are so old they constantly flap in the breeze and there’s a huge hole in the back where the oak tree fell on it, naaa, we don’t need a new roof. We like that it leaks in about 5 different places.

Yes, I took this photo today, it will be 2 years this coming August since Katrina blew thru here and we’re still waiting on FEMA to decide whether or not the house will be repaired or demolished. Don’t you just love governmental bureaucracy at it’s finest?

Bastards…

This has been amusing me for a week now, a small green lizard has moved into my SUV grill and seems to think it’s a great place to hang out and catch bugs. He crawls all over the bumper, the hood, in and out of the grill but mostly hangs off the lower edge waiting for tasty insects to pass by.

When he spots his prey he leaps down onto the pavement below, snatches it up and scurries back, where he jumps up onto one of the tires then leaps across to the bumper. Sometimes I’ve seen it do it from the upper grill which is about a 3 foot drop! And it only takes him a few moments to return to his station. It does this all day long and it’s been going on for a solid week now.

Occasionally it will climb onto the hood and lay there in the sun because they like that warmth. It seems to be most active when it’s really warm in the middle of the day. Here’s a closeup of him ready to pounce. LOL

I haven’t been driving that much all week so I know he hasn’t been disturbed very much, but earlier today I took a 60 mile drive and I feared he would be gone. Not so! Shortly after I returned home, there he was, poking his head out and hungry! He went right to work. These guys are extremely plentiful in this neighborhood, you can’t step outside without seeing one and they eat tons of bugs. They’re actually pretty good to have around.

So now that I seem to have a permanent resident pet, that also fills the roles of bug catcher, security attack lizard and a cool looking hood ornament, I think it’s time I gave it a name but I can’t think of any good ones. I’m taking suggestions, anyone want to name my lizard? I might even let the winner pet him! Hmm, pet my lizard, that sounds kinda naughty actually… Name my lizard!

If you’re ever purchased fresh sliced meat from a grocery counter, I’m sure you’ve run into one of these people. Their grumpiness factor is in direct proportion to how thin you want that ham sliced. If you don’t specify a thickness, you’ll probably be greeted with a pleasant attitude.

Ask them to slice it very thin and they quickly turn from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. The thinner you want it sliced, the more work for them because thinly sliced can require twice as many strokes on the machine. The particularly heinous ones will beligerently show you the first slice from 10 feet away by waving it at you so fast that there’s no way you can really tell if it’s what you wanted. “Is this thin enough”, they’ll ask with a scowl.

You’re lucky if they don’t throw it at you and curse you before you leave the counter. Of course they’re not all like that but I seem to run into more than my fair share. I also hate when they attach the sticker label over the baggie opening in such a way that you have to rip the damn thing to shreds when you get it home.

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I ran into this interesting comparison the other day, now I’m thankful our cars don’t run on printer ink! Holy Crap, Batman! If you thought the price of gasoline was expensive, take a look at this price comparison of various liquids! Apparently we’ve been had, printer ink manufacturers have finally figured out how to turn something ordinary into pure gold.

And you thought alchemy was a lost art, remember all those nutjobs that worked for centuries trying to figure out how to turn ordinary metals into gold? Apparently something very similar is possible. Forget crude oil, forget the middle east, let the ink wars begin, LOL! I think I’m going to become a wildcatter and start drilling for printer ink! That’s obviously where the money’s at!

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I was in a really creative mood yesterday and doctored up a bunch of old archive images of Hitler, I think they came out really quite good. In this politically correct social climate there aren’t many subjects left that you can safely make fun of without offending anyone. I doubt if anyone will have an issue with me taking a big swing at Hitler, LOL

I think my Photoshop skills have come a long way, what do you think? Here’s one sample in reduced size. If you want to see the 8 picture series, I posted them over at Evil Six.

Those are my contributions to “fuck off and die Thursdays”.

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On a VERY positive note, I’ve been feeling quite good! Actually this is the best I’ve felt in nearly 5 years. Pretty damn amazing considering how close I came to death. My miserable health odyssey began with liver failure, progressed into double pneumonia, being in a coma for a month, nearly 2 years of hospitilization, a complete liver transplant and top it off with 7 months of chemotherapy. You can’t say that I don’t know how to have fun! LOL

My latest blood test results have come back very positive with only a slight bit of anemia and I feel like the last traces of the chemo drugs have finally left my system. In a word, KICKASS!! hehe I’m ready to take on the world again! Hell yeah! What a change huh? Going from feeling like every day that passed would likely be your last one to feeling like you might live forever. We can dream can’t we? hehe

Love you guys and I hope you have a great weekend!!