One of my dearest and best blogging buddies, Inanna, has some seriously bad news, a fire broke out at her house while she was away and she lost nearly everything including her cats. Only one of them survived. Thankfully, her and her son, Nate will be ok. Please go visit if you can and offer whatever words of comfort that come to mind, thanks.

I just thought I would give you guys an update on what hasn’t been done since the house was damaged by Katrina 1.5 years ago. FEMA is STILL dragging it’s leaden feet on what’s to be done. We still aren’t sure if the house will end up being demolished and rebuilt from the ground up or if it will be repaired. The red tape involved in getting all the bureaucracies in sync has been monumental. Engineering, funding, inspections, code, and just good old-fashioned bean counting has all conspired together to make getting one single house repaired a seemingly impossible task.

Truly, we are dealing with the Ministry of Silly Walks of Monty Python fame. And, yes, these pictures are what the house still looks like after the walls have been torn out, the siding blown off and the roof damaged from the giant oak that fell on it. The air-conditioning and heating system was destroyed so we have small space heaters throughout the house and we put in several small window A/C units to make the summers more bearable.

The roof leaks in at least 3 places, it’s very drafty, several windows are still broken from the wind damage and it still smells of mold from the moisture that soaked into the wood framing when it was flooded out. The last we heard was that we “might” get an answer on what’s to be done in March of this year 2007.

I know that we are far from from the only people that are in this situation, but eventually it will get done. Myself, I’m hoping that the house ends up being demolished because it will never be the same after all that has happened. It’s a shame but it’s true.

On the more personal front, as of today I have 6 more weeks of chemotherapy to go thru before I’m done, damn I cannot wait! I’ve been very weak and have a difficult time coping with the very strong flu like symptoms, aching muscles and joints and the brain fog that accompanies the injections but it’s all good! I’m down to the short strokes now!

WooHoo!! =) Hope you guys have a great weekend!!

Or does my gas tank really run dry faster when gas is over $3 than when the price is much lower.

Or does the traffic move slower and slower in direct relation to how late I am for an appointment.

Or do I always end up in the slowest moving line at the grocery.

Or should it be against the law to air drug commercials that don’t tell you what the drug actually does.

Or are we now watching more commercials on TV than actual programming.

Or has HBO become an absolute waste of money.

Or is it just wrong to make it look like people with herpes always have more fun than everyone else.

Or has Donald Trump’s hair-pie reached glorious new heights?

Or does Rosie O’donnell look just a bit toooo much like Jack Black?

Or is this the end of this silly post?

Well guys I’m so busy with blog work that I even forgot about my blog’s 2 yr anniversary that passed back in November nearly 2 months ago! LOL I used to write a lot of stories about my experiences in the deep sea diving business and I haven’t put any up in a long time. But today I have a rerun story from way back in my archives, one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy!

One of the funniest things I ever saw was a diver that was pretending to be working. He was supposed to be guiding an undersea pipeline about 12″ in diameter into a set of saddles going up one leg of an offshore platform. There were cables attached to it from winches and a crane through sets of pulleys rigged up to handle the task. The diver in this situation was supposed to be just guiding the operation from below, giving instructions to the dive controller on how tight each line had to be to get the pipeline into position and then he would bolt the pipe into the clamp in place underwater.

But, once he had the pipe guided in to the clamp he decided he had done enough and took a little nap of sorts underwater. He was working at about 30 feet below the surface and the water was incredibly clear that day and you could see him from the deck. He apparently didn’t realize this because he just sat there on a horizontal brace of the rig giving out imaginary instructions to the dive controller. I was standing on the edge of the vessel tending his hose and had been watching his progress as he did his job, but, once I realized he wasn’t doing anything I motioned the dive controller over to the edge of the deck and pointed to him. After about a minute of watching him do nothing but pretend to work he ended the dive and fired the dude, told him to catch the next boat hitting shoreside. The look of shock on his face was priceless when the dive controller told him he was being watched from the surface!

Another funny one was a newbie diver that nearly bit his own tongue half off because he was too anxious. One of the diver tenders jobs was to make sure the divers breathing hose was clear and snag free at all times, you actually stood on the edge of the deck holding the hose and tried to gently feel the amount of slack in the hose at all times while the diver was in the water. It needed to be lightly taut at all times to ensure there was no slack or droop in the line that could cause his lifeline to get tangled or damaged in any way. Sounds easy but it’s not, the hose asembly is fairly heavy and it takes quite a bit of experience to tell the difference between the divers pull and the pull of sea currents.

When you help dress your diver out with his diving hat and tools you have to feed enough slack over the edge to make sure he can make a clear jump into the water from the deck from as high as 20 ft sometimes in full gear. Once you ensured everything was clear you tapped the diver on the shoulder to give him the sign to jump. This one guy didn’t wait for the high sign from his tender, there was no slack in the hose and he jumped overboard. The hose caught an obstruction on deck and he didn’t hit the water, the hose jerked him up like a hangmans noose to his harness and the sudden stop made him slam into the hull of the vessel and nearly sever his tongue with his own teeth! They took him away in an emergency chopper, not a good way to make one of your first deep sea dives!

I recall one of my first jobs as a newbie tender, me and one diver were on a small barge working in very shallow water. Just me and him were the entire diving crew, that meant I had to care for his gear, the radio equipment, the air compressor (an old hand cranked diesel that was a bitch to start up) plus whatever tools he needed. I was barely seventeen I think and I was stuck with a lot of responsibility. I had to tend his hose and talk to him on the radio to relay instructions to the rigging crew to assist his job in the water, meanwhile making sure everything on deck keeping him alive was working properly and just generally johnny on the spot if shit went wrong. He had been going in and out the water all day, very shallow work and we fell into a routine getting a lot of work done. Since the diesel air compressor was so noisy we shut it off between every short dive when he came up for a break.

He took this one break and I forgot the compressor was off and I got him back into the water and after a few minutes he says on the radio, “hey my air is gettin’ kinda short down here, don’t you think you should start that compressor?” HOLY SHIT! I looked over and sure enough the compressor was off and the gauge on the air tank on deck showed nearly empty! I grabbed that crank handle for the diesel and cranked that damn thing for all I was worth, nearly having a stroke at 17 years old! The bastard thought it was funny, he knew the thing was off before he went in the water and just wanted to hear me panicking on the radio thinking I was killing him! The water was shallow enough there was really no danger of injury and he had a bottle of air on his backpack for emergencies. In the end it was funny but that little incident kept me on my toes for later years, what an experience!

A few weeks ago my mom was going thru some more of my grandmothers personal belongings and came across some old photographic negatives. She decided to take a chance on getting them developed to see how good they would come out and we were amazingly suprised. The format was so old that they had to be taken to a professional photographer for developing at a much higher cost than your usual photo outlets. Well, you can see a couple of the incredible results below.

Unfortunately, since my grandmother has now passed away and my grandfather died over 30 years ago, we may never learn the story of why and where these photos were taken. We do know that the year was 1928 and that it was somewhere in the New Orleans area and they were roughly 20 years old. Don’t my grandparents make a great looking couple?

There’s still tons of boxes and old belongings that remain to be looked thru, who knows what we’ll find!

Hope you guys have a killer new year holiday! Have fun and drink a few for me!

I’ve been very bad, if I’m lucky he might bring me a nice lump of coal!

I don’t know about you guys but the amount of inbox spam I’ve been getting lately is just way off the charts! Everything from the lamest sounding home refinance offers, drugs, watches and porn. It’s just incredible! No matter how many you block, dozens more arrive every fifteen minutes! I know it has everything to do with the season too. They think people are more in a “spending mood”.
I’m more likely to jump into a live volcano or eat razor blades for breakfast than I would be to click on one of these email links, let alone actually purchase something from these annoying fuckheads.

I especially resent the “enlarge your pen!s” just in time for Christmas ads. Apparently Santa gives better gifts to men that are well hung or something. And hell, why not display your Christmas spirit with a huge pen!s?? Hang a stocking on it! Now, I admit, the drug ads are a good idea, who doesn’t want to be totally drugged up for Christmas? Count me in!! Nothing like being in a drug induced stupor on such a wonderful day, huh? No drug underdoses for me!!

And, you can be sure I’ll be the first one lining up to send money for a “genuine” Rolex watch from a website run by a guy named “Akmed” who’s website link looks like total gibberish. Yeah, right…. not in their fucking dreams.

I’m starting to think these people are nothing more than “email terrorists” the way they hold our inboxes hostage, clog up the internet with useless crap and send our stress factor up using extremely lame attempts to get us to part with our hard earned money. It’s a good thing some of them are so ridiculous that they’re actually quite funny and somewhat entertaining!

Die, spam-tards, Die!!

Has anyone else tried this? One day I thought it might be fun to experiment with different soft drink combinations. Mixing and matching your own favorite flavors at self-serve soda fountains that are so common at fast food places these days. So far my favorite combination is Diet Pepsi with a good shot of Tropicana Lemonade on top. Delicious!
I’ve tried Coke and Fruit Punch, Root Beer and Mtn Dew and a whole bunch of others. Some were pretty good, some were terrible. But, hey you can always just give it a taste and if you don’t like it, pour it out and start over! It’s help yourself after all!
Give it a try yourself and post your favorite combos, I want to hear a few that you guys can dream up.

I’ve still been so busy with blog work that I can barely catch my breath! Here’s a few new ones I’ve done since the last mentions: A new one for Sara at Life is a Journey, a website called Science and Supermodels, Nascar Rants, New Orleans Womens Golf Assoc., Nappily Evah Aftah, Bobology, Are We There Yet?, and The Sinister Minister.

I’m also selling PayPal gift certificates that can be purchased in multiple denominations toward a new template at my Blogs Gone Wild! site just in time for Christmas.

I’m also working on a project with a company to develop 10 blog themes for a scientific blogging community using a publishing platform called Drupal. I’m having to learn the system from scratch, but I like it! Drupal is like Wordpress on steroids, with a heavy duty content management system, multiple users and very customizable themes. I’m also in the middle of doing more personal blog skins.

And, in between all that I’ve also put up a whole bunch of new free to download themes at my Free Blogger Skins site. I sure hope all this work keeps coming in!

Hey!! I hope you guys have a great weekend!!!!

Over the years I’ve realized that people have some very strange behaviors and habits. One thing that is very rarely discussed is some of the rituals and social interaction in the mens room. Here’s a few of my character observations, the names I totally made up but I think they cover it pretty well.

The Tinkle Belle - This guy is almost dainty in the way he approaches the task. Unzips it very carefully, making double-damn sure nothing gets caught or something. Might look around once or twice in the process, throws a half-embarrased quick smile at anyone else in the room and then rezips with even more care. Definitely looks down while zipping just to make sure! Always washes and dries his hands!

The Hunchback - This guy reminds me of Quasimodo the way he hunches over the urinal. Gets as close as he can and shields the action with his arms and elbows while he goes. Makes damn sure no one can see what’s going on down there! Stares straight down in front the entire time. Sometimes I think they’re secretly inspecting stolen microfilm or possibly worried about getting a fluorescent light burn on the equipment. Who knows?

The Flash - This guy is all business, walks in very quickly and heads straight for the closest station. Has it already unzipped when he’s still walking in up to 5 feet away. Drains it in about 10 seconds flat and is still zipping up as he heads for the door to leave! Doesn’t have time to inspect for proper closure and never washes his fucking hands! Duuuude!!! WTF?

The Howie Mandel aka The Monk - The germophobe. You can tell this guy is appalled that he is forced to use a public facility by the look on his face. It doesn’t matter if it’s at the nasty downtown bus station or the whistle-clean one adjacent to the operating room at the local hospital. Cleanliness is THE issue here. Probably pulls it out with a kleenex to avoid touching himself then washes his hands for fifteen minutes when he’s done. Actually carries and uses sterile handi-wipes to finish up. Uses a paper towel to hold the door handle when leaving. You need some serious help dude!!

The Wallflower - This guy probably has some wacky social issues. Looks embarrased the entire time he’s in the room and always hangs back waiting till everyone else is gone so he can do it in total privacy. It doesn’t matter if there’s a couple of empty stations, and usually feigns preoccupation with combing his hair in the mirror while waiting. He’s not fooling anyone though. Momma probably told him that using the toilet was naughty!! Or he was voted most likely to become an adult bedwetter. Who knows?

The Urine Retentive - This guy obviously held it for as loooooong as possible, way, way too long in fact and when he arrives the stations are all full. Fun to watch as he shifts his feet, holding his crotch, dancing very impatiently like a child while waiting for a spot to relieve himself. This is probably the asshole that pisses all over the seats in the toilet stalls because he waited too long to show up. He has to go so bad that he can’t wait for a urinal and he definitely doesn’t have time to lift the fucking seat!

The Urinal Talker - This dude has to run his mouth and chat with anyone that will listen while he’s doing his duty. Dude, I don’t care what your favorite NFL team did and I don’t wanna hear about the new truck you just bought. Or that you “got lucky” at this club the night before. I don’t know you and I’m not in the habit of making bathroom buddies. Standing at the next urinal doesn’t count as being neighbors! That’s just too freaking weird. Just shut up!

The Straight Man - Just walks in quietly and stares dead ahead at the wall studying it carefully for cracks or something, who knows? You barely know he came and went, just as it should be, never leaves a mess and always washes his hands.

The Superman - This guy thinks he can pee over tall buildings in a single bound. Pees with an “I don’t give a shit” attitude. Doesn’t bother to stand close enough to the facility. Stands with shoulders back, crotch forward and just let’s it fly, not caring what he hits. If he was wearing a cape it would be flying in his imaginary breeze behind him. This nasty bastard always dribbles all over the damn floor. Yeah, thanks dude, we love walking in your fucking pee, asssssshole! This is the guy that inspired the expression “Stand Close, It’s Shorter Than You Think”.

The Forrest Tucker - Could be any of the guys above except for the Flash but he also has some kind of appearance issues. It takes him about 5 minutes to get his shirt properly tucked in, jamming it down all round 3 or 4 times before zipping up and buckling his belt. Inspects himself carefully all around in the mirror several times and might actually redo his shirt tucking ritual again if not totally satisfied with the results. Always hogs the damn mirror, move over dude!

I’m sure the guys aren’t alone in this. I’ll bet there’s female counterparts to some of the characters above. What about it ladies? Any wacky ladies room rituals or characters you wanna share with us?

Have a great weekend!!!!

I’ve got a new addiction. Yes, I admit it freely and I just can’t seem to help myself. I blame Lisa for it too, she introduced me to this exciting new pleasure. Now, we have to discuss it just after we’ve satisfied our desire by watching To Catch a Predator on Dateline: NBC on the Saturday nights when it airs. Have you guys seen this show? I love watching the pedophiles getting their just desserts when they show up for a rendezvous with an underage decoy that they’ve “found” on the internet.
The excuses they stammer out are hilarious and stupid, claiming they weren’t really “going to do anything” or they came to “talk them out of it”. The condoms and alcohol they bring along tell a different story! The men that show up are from all walks of life, baptist ministers, prominent doctors, military personnel, truck drivers, corporate big wigs and even jewish rabbis!

Of course my favorite part is the arrests, watching the cops throw down on these scum bags is always so cool! Some even try to run or they attempt to take on half a dozen cops like they have a chance in hell! LOL One thing I noticed that they all seem to have in common is that they don’t understand that they broke the law before they even showed up at the sting. Soliciting sex with a minor is a major offense, the sting just makes it easier to take them into custody. Putting their faces on national TV during the sting is icing on the cake!

The sting operation is actually carried out by a group called Perverted Justice in cooperation with NBC and the local police. The stings have been carried out in various places around the country and are always great fun to watch!

One town however wasn’t too particularly pleased with having pedophiles “invited” into their town. Some residents of Murphy, Texas were particularly vocal and attempted a recall of their local police chief for allowing the sting to take place there. It seemed to make no difference that some of the people caught were actually local with most of them living within a half hours drive. Apparently they like having pedophiles roaming freely, unchecked. I guess you could say they are “pro sexual predator”. How’s that for a town reputation! Here’s more on the Murphy, Texas controversy.

Here’s a quote:

I am begging you to stop the Murphy Police Department from being involved in these Internet Child Predators “Stings”. I DO NOT WANT THESE CRIMINALS BROUGHT TO OUR TOWN ON PURPOSE! These arrests statistics are now on file for our town. When anyone researches these statistics, they will find Murphy to be a haven for these types of arrests. The unusually elevated numbers is NOT the reputation that we need. I don’t want people to think “Child Predators” when they hear the name Murphy. The police response that “We are getting them off the street and they now should know not to come to Murphy or be arrested”, is crazy.

Awwww, not in their town? They’re full of shit! WTF were these morons thinking, it IS happening in their town whether they like it or not. They should be proud that their local law enforcement is taking a stand instead of trying to run them out of office. Fucking rednecks! LOL