I’m like a walking static electricity battery when the weather turns cool and dry. Every damn thing I touch shocks the crap out of me. Seriously, I’m afraid to touch anything metal. I recently found out that one of my PC’s has a metal start button on the case and if I press it, it sends a static charge thru it and will actually make it shut down. Instantly. I guess PC’s don’t like 20,000 volt surges, who knew? This got me to thinking of ways to harness the power of static electricity. After watching that new show, The Walking Dead on Hulu.com the other night, I got an idea.

People in post zombie apocalypse situations need electricity. Lighting, heating for bubble baths and playing zombie shooter video games on a PC requires electricity. A steady, reliable source of electricity. I was thinking that if you captured zombies rather than kill them, you could enclose them in an area with a metal fence attached to a bank of car batteries. The ground in the penned in area would have to be carpeted, preferably a kind that is best for creating lots of static electricity. As the zombies perpetually shuffled around in the pen they would create huge amounts of high voltage electricity and every time they touched the fence the charge would be directed to the bank of batteries. Zombie power! Commonly available transformers, car batteries and power inverters would be all that’s needed to convert the power to 110 AC.

Do zombies need to eat? What if they don’t get a steady supply of flesh and or brains? Do they become inanimate after a while or are they like perpetual motion creatures, already being dead they can’t die except when they are horrifically injured like from a head shot or decapitation? Maybe my idea needs more research. I don’t think the government is doing enough in this area, we all know a zombie apocalypse is going to come some day and without more cold, hard data we could be totally screwed!

Yeah, it’s been a very long time since I’ve posted to this blasted thing. Two years! Lately it’s been on my mind more and more and finally I’m doing it. I even made up a brand new template for the occasion and Halloween.  I’ve surfed around my old links to see how many blogs are still in action and I see quite a few have either disappeared or are just dormant.I will have to update all my links, lol. I wonder how much Facebook has to do with that?

Here’s an update to the previous post, my folk’s house is completely finished from Hurricane Katrina’s destruction and came out extremely well. At the moment I only have this one photo of the outside, none from the interior remodeling. I’ll try to get a few from the inside later.

The finished look

I’ve moved into another house, about a year ago. It’s quite a bit larger and I like it here much better. It’s an 80 year old shotgun style home built from what they call barge board. This is wood that was salvaged from very old wooden barges that used to travel on the Mississippi River back then. The walls are very thick solid wood with no insulation or sheetrock on the inside, the inside of the wall is the wall, period. Oddly enough the utilities have been pretty reasonable although it takes a lot of a/c to keep it cool in mid summer. It’s 2 bedrooms with high, old fashioned ceilings and very high windows. The river is only about 3 blocks away, I can see ships passing from my front porch which is pretty cool.

I’m not gonna bore you with what I’ve been doing since I last updated this blog (I’ll save that for another post lol) so I will finish up with some wacky stuff like some crazy ads.

I wonder if it really works?

I have a feeling she'll be planning your funeral the next day...

How fast can you crawl?

See you soon!

I just can’t seem to stay away from doctors and hospitals. I’ll be going in for a one or two day stay tomorrow, Monday the 29th for some minor surgery. The incision from my liver transplant from 3 years ago has come apart internally in my right side just below my ribs and must be repaired. As you can imagine I’m not too thrilled about that! You would think after 3 years of healing that you wouldn’t have to worry about such things but apparently not.

I know how it happened too, I was working out at the gym the morning of the day I noticed it. It doesn’t hurt much, just a bit sensitive but there’s the danger of an internal infection if I don’t get it fixed right away. It couldn’t hardly come at a worse time since I’m so backed up with blog design requests right now. Actually, when would it be a good time? LOL And this is after my doctors have urged me to get more exercise and lose a few pounds. This what I get for listening to doctors? I think it was all part of their evil plan to operate on me again. They just can’t get enough of me.

So, bright and early tomorrow morning I’ll be headed across town to get sliced up again, hopefully it will be just as minor as he claims. Just a few stitches maybe a small synthetic skin patch but they still have to cut me open to get to the tear so it’s gonna hurt for quite a while. No physical activity for at least 6 weeks!! Just when I was totally getting into the groove of working out at the gym!!

It’s Electric Shock Season Again YAY!! Not Really…

Every winter it’s the same old thing, every thing metal that I touch shocks the crap out of me. Today I felt my first shock of the season. The worst item is car doors. I can pretty much depend on it, just getting in and out will give me quite a jolt, it makes me hate to touch anything with my hands.

Often I’ll use my jacketed forearm or elbow to push a door open or closed to lessen the jolt. Sometimes I can build up a nice charge that will jump as much as an inch across! Bright enough that you can see and I hate it!! Anyone have any tips on how to stop it? It doesn’t seem to matter what I’m wearing or type of shoes or even if I’m walking on concrete, wood or carpet. I always get shocked. Annoying!!

I’ll give you guys an update on my condition in a few days, hopefully he’ll give me something good for pain!! hehe

I noticed about 2 weeks ago my primary PC was starting to act kinda wonky on me. I actually have three including the laptop but the two desktops are in constant use with the slower one (1400 mhz) acting as a backup. I built both of them myself and they were getting kind of old and tired and I knew it. Now it was looking like it might fail on me any day. And since I make my living on my computer I can’t afford to be without it. The primary one was about 6 years old, a 2600 mhz AMD and it was as fast and as powerful as you could get back then. It has served me extremely well over the years.

In computer years though, 2600 mhz is a virtual dinosaur so again I decided to go as fast and powerful as I could. The new one I built this past week is another AMD running at 6000+ mhz with a 160 gig sata 2 hard drive and 2 gigabytes of ddr2 memory. In other words blazing fast. The old machine would take almost 30 seconds to open my Photoshop CS2 program, the new one does it in about 2 seconds. What an amazing difference!

Building it was not without it’s problems though. I ordered all the components online and then carefully assembled everything. Plugged it in, turned it on and… nothing! It refused to boot up, no beeps, no post! Arrgh!! Next came lots of swearing as I tried to figure out which one of the new parts was faulty. It turned out to be the new motherboard. I ended up sending it back for exchange but I couldn’t wait two weeks for them to send another so I ended up buying one locally. Anyway, it now works and works quite well and I’m a happy camper again! Yay!! Hopefully this one will last me another 5 or 6 years.

Does anyone else dislike Nancy Grace on CNN as much as I do? She is very irritating, just the sound of her indignant voice is enough to make me go change the channel. I hate the way she badgers people on the air, people that are just witnesses to her story and are trying to be helpful. She treats them like dirt. One night she was questioning someone that had a stutter and she actually mocked his stuttering! She acts as though everyone she talks to on air is her own personal doormat. By the way I found that photo on the ‘net, it’s not one that I made up, LOL.

How about showing some social grace, Nancy Grace?

This photo just cracks me up and makes me wonder what the hell is going on here? LOL

I’ve been crazy busy and here’s a few new template designs I’ve done recently, Nappily Evah Aftah and two templates here for the same blog My Juxtaposition . The ones I did are named Many Faces and Butterflies, you’ll have to use the theme switcher to see them both. And another new one here for Unrestricted and a new one over at A Whole Lot of Nothing.

It’s Friday folks!! Hope you guys have a great weekend!!

Yes, I’m a bad boy! I’ve been neglecting this thing horribly. And I’ve been neglecting visiting you guys too. Did ya miss me much? LOL And yes, the photo of the escalator in the previous post is fake! I found the image on the ‘net. My fitness center does not have an escalator!!

I was flipping thru the TV channels the other day and landed on the Cartoon Network for a few minutes. What struck me was the advertising for kids snacks and candies, etc. and I realized that what they put up is just as bad or even worse than cigarette advertisements in it’s own way. Every ad you see is geared toward making kids think that snacking out on all that crappy junk food is fun, exciting and that they’re just not cool unless they do it too. Your childs head turns into a giant strawberry, grape or watermelon, or you soar thru the air from sheer excitement because of the flavor rush or they visualize it as near hallucinogenic or pseudo-psychedelic experiences just from biting into a piece of their mouth watering candy. How can children resist that kind of propaganda? The truth is that they don’t need any snacks at all, not a damn one, yet they’re made to feel that they can’t live without it.

Yeah, it’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. The hurt comes when your child weighs three hundred pounds before the age of 10. And that’s just a prelude to a lifetime addiction to junk food which in turn sets them up for high cholesterol, heart disease and diabetes by the time they’re 30 years old. Fun my ass. More people in this country die every year from heart related complications than those from tobacco related products yet we sit back and watch it happen. Where’s the outcry people?

Americans are no longer the tallest people in the world on average, but we’re still the widest!

In other news, Nanner came to N.O. over the weekend and it was great seeing her again. Nanner and her cousin and I walked around the French Quarter for a little while on Sunday and stopped in at the Clover Grill for burgers. The next day I picked her up for lunch and we went to the 615 Cafe that has some of the best fried catfish in the city. It’s an out of the way joint that’s known only to the locals and the food is always great. We only got to spend a couple hours together but it was still good fun. Good to see you again hon!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the gym to work off some of that candy I ate earlier…. Have a great weekend!!!

I joined a fitness center yesterday, yeah finally. My fat ass was threatening to take over the entire house. Apparently, sitting in front of a PC all day long is not conducive to good fitness. Who woulda thunk it? Actually, I could use losing about 15 maybe 20 pounds but it’s the exercise that I’m more concerned about. I get winded just watching other people exercise on TV. Now that’s bad.

I really like the place so far, it’s got a nice indoor swimming pool, a huge hot, bubbling whirlpool and sauna. And rows and rows of all manner of modern human torture exercise machines. Located in a nice modern building with private parking, trainers and a nice friendly staff less than a mile from home. I was lucky to find one that had escalators out front too. You know it’s swanky if it has escalators!! LOL

Here’s a couple of the trainers, a couple of really nice guys, but they have the strangest accents.

I did some starter workouts yesterday and now I’m just starting to feel the aches and pains. I’m looking forward to my next visit, maybe in a few weeks. Just kidding!!!! I’ll be going back later today for more fun.

In other news, the new house is great, I’m really enjoying the place. Unfortunately, I’m still not finished unpacking. I’ve got boxes that I haven’t even opened yet. Frankly, m’dear, I’ve just been too busy to give a damn. Blogs Gone Wild is doing fantastic and I’ve got a lot of new stuff in my portfolio and I’m working on lots more. I think I work too may hours, I really need to get out more!

Maybe I’ll go do something fun this weekend, just don’t know what. Anyway, I hope you guys have a fun filled weekend!! Laterz!!

Does anyone REALLY care if Sen. Larry Craig is gay or not? Personally, I don’t and I would actually be more surprised if he wasn’t considering all the shenanigans and wacky revelations coming from members of congress in the past few years. Just so long as the man does a good job in office is what counts. What I DO care about is that how does someone so utterly frikkin’ STUPID get himself elected to office. I mean seriously, first he pleads guilty to the ridiculous charges, then changes his mind, then decides to quit his position, then changes his mind again. The guy is obviously a total DUMBASS, especially since he risked throwing away his career on something so lame.

And as far as I know propositioning someone for sex isn’t against the law, even if it’s in an airport toilet. It should only be illegal if there was money (prostitution) involved. With that in mind, why was he even arrested in the first place?? I’ve never heard any mentions of him offering to pay for sex. The whole mess is senseless and most especially the way he’s handled it. You guys have any thoughts on this?

I’ve been picking up some really screwy, oddball photos off the ‘net that I thought would be fun to share.

Check out this guys leg, MOTHAFUKKIN’ OUCH!!!!

This is too funny! Don’t let the terrorists see this one! We’ll all be screwed!

Flush 25 pounds from your COLON!! 25 POUNDS!?!?! OMFG!!! LOL

If Ronald McDonald was goth, truly weird!!

Here I am showing off my early electrical engineering skills as a child

Well, that’s all I got folks! Hope you have a great weekend!! Weee! TGIF!

WOW, I’ve been so busy lately! I’m in the middle of moving to a new house and I’m trying to help my parents get their house back in order from Katrina as much as I can. There’s one project that’s been totally kicking my ass and that is building the shed from hell. It’s a prefab plastic 7′ x 10′ unit manufactured by Rubbermaid. It was packaged in two oversized boxes and it’s intended to replace the one that Katrina blew to smithereens two years ago.

The instructions claimed 2 hours assembly time which has to be either a typo or an outright lie. It’s more like 2 hours per panel! And there’s about 14 panels. The strangest thing is this weird looking symbol that’s been slowly materializing on the side now that it’s nearly complete, not sure what it means though…

Blogs Gone Wild has been going really strong, I recently did a complete redesign of the site and it now runs on WordPress and includes a blog for updates and site news. Something I had been wanting to do for a long time.

Free Blogger Skins has grown like crazy too, it now gets over 80,000 hits a month! It’s also in the Top 200 blogs listings on Technorati, that’s just crazy! I’ve also been doing some contract web work for a local company outside of Blogs Gone Wild, I would like to get more of that.

I just recently did another makeover for The Redneck Mommy, she wanted the conversion to WordPress that I did for her a few months back converted again into a 3 column template. I think it came out great, if you’ve never read her, she’s awfully engaging and fun to read and very, very popular.You guys really should check her out.

Here’s a few more that I’ve completed lately as well, Randy Rainbow, Sportz Chicago and Jottings From Jersey

I’ll have more on my moving to a new house next week with pictures once I get all the utilities up and running and settled in a little bit. It’s a really cool house and I can’t wait to get in.

Finally, I’ll leave you guys with a joke that made me LMAO!

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch… why else would I buy dog food??

Hope you guys have an ass kicking weekend! =)

Note: I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time to write anything new so you get a rerun of one of my favorite old posts. It was originally written the first time I visited Lisa in NYC back in February of 2006.

I’m really enjoying my stay in NYC and one of the best parts is getting to do a lot of walking around, going out to eat, seeing various sites, and people watching. People watching has always been one of my favorite pastimes. One thing I notice here is that more people than not seem to have a freekin’ iPod to listen to. Personally, I can’t imagine enjoying music by having to stuff tiny little speakers into my ears but that’s just me. Maybe it’s something you just have to get used to.

It’s amazing how many iPod variations are out there not to mention the bewildering selection of gadgets, gizmos, addons, and plug-ins available for the damn things. Everytime you go in an electronics store the very first display you see is all the crap they have available to sell you to make you part with your hard-earned money for more iPod doo-dads. Even with all of that I think they are missing the boat on a few possible iPod variations that make just as much sense as some of the silly crap already available.

Without too much effort I was able to come up with a few iPod variations of my own that I’m sure could make tons of money… or not! LOL

Above: I think they’re totally missing the boat on the highly lucrative pirate market. I call this version the iPatch PiratePod, a very exclusive niche marketing opportunity which is not only a perfect gift for your favorite pirate but also great for all your vision impaired one-eyed friends!!

Above: Here’s another variation that’s sure to please all you goofy hat wearers out there, with this modified version of the video iPod you could have a slide show running for everyone else to see with photos of your dog, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your favorite make out sessions, your totally boring vacation to the Grand Canyon or anything else that you want to show off. I call this iPod variation the iHat HairPod!

Above: Why not have your iPod do double duty, not just a music player! You could have this cool ass iPacer HeartPod implanted into your chest to make your heart beat to the music, from mellow, soothing mood music to heart pounding heavy metal, this iPod variation would be perfect for friends and family with a heart condition or everyday exercise junkies! Just think, having a heart attack could be very entertaining for both you and your would be rescuers!

Above: For the pooch that has everything! I call this one the iPaw PetPod, now your favorite dog or cat could show off their incredibly good taste by wearing one of these cool devices on their paw. Maybe running slide shows from the Westminster dog show, or just displaying a picture or two of their favorite feline or canine friends. This dog is being very stylish by showing off a picture of Lisa’s dog, Ally da Pup!!!

Above: This particular variation, iPax Tampods, would be perfect for the woman that loves to wear skin tight, skimpy clothing and has absolutely no place else to stick their iPod, or just hates to carry tampons around for emergency situations. Moving to the music would take on a whole new meaning!

Now all I need to do is find someone foolish smart enough to fund the manufacturing of these cool new iPods, maybe I could retire!

Which one is your fave?

Does killing time damage eternity? And just how much time can you kill before the damage is permanent?

Would the universe exist if there was no one here to see it?

People believe that without a God we would have no purpose for being. I wonder if God would have a purpose if there were no beings.

Does God have a sense of humor? If he does, I’ll bet he’s into slapstick, how else could you explain the Three Stooges?

Anyway, finally it looks like something is on the verge of happening with getting the house repaired from the Katrina damage. Count it folks, that’s almost exactly 2 years since the hurricane and the house is still a shambles. Engineering people have come out and given the official okey-dokey and most of the paperwork has been signed off. It’s going to be interesting to see this 2 story brick home being raised 3 feet off the ground.

They claim that we can actually live in the house while it’s being done. Oh yeah, you know that’s going to be fun without any plumbing LOL Since it’s all under the foundation, it has to be disconnected during the raising. Hence, the FEMA trailer out front that has a shower and working fixtures… They claim the whole process will take less than 6 weeks, we shall see! I’ll definitely have photos!

I’ll be leaving in a few days to meet up with the lovely Lisa again for the return journey to NYC, more fun on the highway! I’m looking forward to it! This time I’ll be spending more time in Manhattan which is always fun. I love dining out there, we already have plans to revisit the Argentine restaurant we found. Unfortunately, my waistline is taking a serious beating! Gah!! I’ll definitely be on a serious diet when I get back, LOL.

Hope you guys are having a fun weekend!!