I spent last weekend in Dallas, Tx, attending my sister’s wedding. I will go into more detail but first I need to vent some rage. Before I left for Dallas I had some last minute shopping to do and I ended up in Walmart. Yeah, I know! I only had 5 items in my cart and when I went to checkout, the shortest line was a 10 items or less line. Unfortunately there was an elderly lady already checking out in that line and she had to have at least 50 items in her cart. Seriously, can’t old people read? It wasn’t too bad at first, the cashier was pretty fast so I waited and then the horror really began. The old lady had a FISTFULL of freaking coupons, OMG. And of course there were problems with a few of the coupons, they wouldn’t register for some reason. This prompted a call to a manager to come over and help the cashier.

Of course it takes 5 minutes for a manager to show up to get it all straightened out. He was probably in his office tweeting photos of his penis all over the internet, which seems to be all the rage these days. When told that some of her coupons couldn’t be used she starts arguing about it, then after a few minutes finally that gets all settled. THEN she pulls out…. wait for it… a FREAKING CHECKBOOK!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh, at this point I just wanted to scream. Of course that takes another 5 minutes. Unbelievable. You ever watch an old person write a check in seeming slow motion while your life is slowly slipping away?

A few days later, I had another old person with a checkbook encounter in Dallas in a grocery store. The line was short, she only had a few items but when she tried to pay with a check it wouldn’t go through. Here we go with ANOTHER wait for a manager session to come fix the problem. Seriously, I just wanna reach over and SNATCH that damn checkbook right out of their hands, tear it in half, throw it on the floor and stomp the crap out of it and scream at them to get a damn bank card already so we can stop wasting other people’s lives.

Please old people, for the love of god or whatever the hell you believe in, if you have any shred of decency and any respect for the remaining bits of sanity of society in general, please, please, PLEASE get a bank card already.

Ok, I’m almost to the wedding part but first a warning about Mapquest. Apparently they now have some kind of helper app they want you to download to be able to use their maps more effectively. You DO NOT want this leechware on your computer. My mom got this on her pc last week. It hijacks your browser homepage and search engines to an offshoot of BING search and there is no way to uninstall it. Resetting your homepage does not work, the next time you open your browser it’s BACK. It sets everything to go through a page called Search.conduit and it’s godawful to get rid of. Even my strongest virus removal program didn’t recognize it as malware. I ended up having to go into Firefox’s configuration files and resetting everything and it was a total pain in the ass to get rid of.

Now for the wedding!! The event took place at a home owned by a relative of the groom, and they had a beautiful backyard with a large gazebo and a curved flagstone walkway leading up to it from the main house. They spent a lot of time on the decorations and lighting, the event was catered and everything went together very smoothly. She is 48 and it was her first marriage, we were beginning to think she would never find Mr Right, lol. There were about 140 guests, family and friends. In the photo below, that’s my dad walking her up the aisle. Click the photo for a larger image.

In the photo below they are saying the vows, her new husband is on her right. On her left in the burgundy dress is my sister’s best friend and maid of honor who sang a couple of songs during the ceremony. She has a beautiful voice. On the groom’s right is his brother, the best man. Again, click the photo for a larger version.

The only bad thing was that it was pretty damn hot out and we did a lot of sweating! lol. It was a pretty amazing day, I was very proud of my sister, she and her husband did most of the work setting up and planning the entire thing on their own. I know it was a helluva lot of effort but it really paid off and everyone really seemed to enjoy themselves.

That’s all I got, hope you’re all having a great weekend!!

Note: I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time to write anything new so you get a rerun of one of my favorite old posts. It was originally written the first time I visited Lisa in NYC back in February of 2006.

I’m really enjoying my stay in NYC and one of the best parts is getting to do a lot of walking around, going out to eat, seeing various sites, and people watching. People watching has always been one of my favorite pastimes. One thing I notice here is that more people than not seem to have a freekin’ iPod to listen to. Personally, I can’t imagine enjoying music by having to stuff tiny little speakers into my ears but that’s just me. Maybe it’s something you just have to get used to.

It’s amazing how many iPod variations are out there not to mention the bewildering selection of gadgets, gizmos, addons, and plug-ins available for the damn things. Everytime you go in an electronics store the very first display you see is all the crap they have available to sell you to make you part with your hard-earned money for more iPod doo-dads. Even with all of that I think they are missing the boat on a few possible iPod variations that make just as much sense as some of the silly crap already available.

Without too much effort I was able to come up with a few iPod variations of my own that I’m sure could make tons of money… or not! LOL

Above: I think they’re totally missing the boat on the highly lucrative pirate market. I call this version the iPatch PiratePod, a very exclusive niche marketing opportunity which is not only a perfect gift for your favorite pirate but also great for all your vision impaired one-eyed friends!!

Above: Here’s another variation that’s sure to please all you goofy hat wearers out there, with this modified version of the video iPod you could have a slide show running for everyone else to see with photos of your dog, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your favorite make out sessions, your totally boring vacation to the Grand Canyon or anything else that you want to show off. I call this iPod variation the iHat HairPod!

Above: Why not have your iPod do double duty, not just a music player! You could have this cool ass iPacer HeartPod implanted into your chest to make your heart beat to the music, from mellow, soothing mood music to heart pounding heavy metal, this iPod variation would be perfect for friends and family with a heart condition or everyday exercise junkies! Just think, having a heart attack could be very entertaining for both you and your would be rescuers!

Above: For the pooch that has everything! I call this one the iPaw PetPod, now your favorite dog or cat could show off their incredibly good taste by wearing one of these cool devices on their paw. Maybe running slide shows from the Westminster dog show, or just displaying a picture or two of their favorite feline or canine friends. This dog is being very stylish by showing off a picture of Lisa’s dog, Ally da Pup!!!

Above: This particular variation, iPax Tampods, would be perfect for the woman that loves to wear skin tight, skimpy clothing and has absolutely no place else to stick their iPod, or just hates to carry tampons around for emergency situations. Moving to the music would take on a whole new meaning!

Now all I need to do is find someone foolish smart enough to fund the manufacturing of these cool new iPods, maybe I could retire!

Which one is your fave?

After 3,000 miles of driving from NY to Texas and then back again, it was pretty awesome to finally arrive back in the big city. I know Ally da Pup sure was excited! Once we got settled in and had a good nights sleep I was able to do one of my favorite pastimes when I’m there, people watch. Everywhere you go there are thousands of people walking around, going about their business, running errands, etc. and a lot of them sure dress funny! I finally decided that walking around the streets is sort of like visiting a multi-ethnic Wal-Mart but on a much larger scale. And a lot grittier. I love that virtually everything you need on a daily basis is within walking distance. And then there’s the restaurants, many of them open 24/7.

I think I put on 5 pounds as we ate our way across the city, LOL We made return visits to two of my favorites, the Carnegie Deli (photos at link) which is just a stones throw from Carnegie Hall and an awesome dinner at the Hacienda de Argentine (photos at link) restaurant on the east side. The sandwiches at the Carnegie Deli are legendary with the meat piled on at least three inches thick, the thin slices of bread seem like mere afterthoughts. The Argentine restaurant has the best empanadas I’ve ever tasted and the atmosphere is just amazing. The decor reminds you of a medieval hunting lodge perhaps or maybe the dining room of an ancient castle.

One night we went to this really cool, upscale mexican restaurant called Mama Mexico (photos at link) where we met and had dinner with Julie! She was very cool and fun to talk to. This was my first time meeting her but her and Lisa have met on several occassions before then. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but we had a great time chatting! I’m glad we finally met! Once we left there, we walked her back to Grand Central near her subway station and we also caught the subway home. This is the street where the enormous steam explosion occurred the very next morning! I think that constitutes a close call!

I finally got to see the American Museum of Natural History which was pretty damn awesome! I snapped a few photos of the dinosaur skeletons, here are two of my favorites!

There was also a great video show called Cosmic Collisions in the planetarium narrated by Robert Redford. The visuals were stunning, displayed on a huge globe shaped ceiling like theatre that seated hundreds inside of a gigantic sphere.

On one night we accidentally witnessed the grand opening of Justin Timberlakes new restauarant as we walked pass.There were celebrities arriving in limos and walking down a red carpet before entering the place with tons of paparazzi snapping photos like madmen. Complete with screaming female fans and search lights. Just like a Hollywood premier, LOL Here’s a shot I took myself as I walked by.

Does anyone know who that is? I was lucky to get that photo because there were so many people in front of me, the crowd parted just as I passed. I think it may be Jessica Biel but I’m not sure. Anyone?

Here’s what the place looked like the next morning after everything was taken away. Yeah, that’s a hardware store on the left and a convenience grocery on the right, the restaurant features southern cooking and Memphis style barbecue. Not so exciting now. LOL

Anyway, those are the highlights, all in all a great and fun trip thanks to the lovely Lisa! We always have a lot of fun together! Have a great weekend everyone!! Woohoo!!

I’m back home in New Orleans again and it sucks to be here! After driving around half the country and getting to hang out in Manhattan, N.O. seems so bland and unattractive. Bleah! Lisa just put up a new post about the trip that covers a lot of the details from Texas to New York so I’ll just touch on a few highlights. With photos!

The first leg back was through Arkansas, nothing to see here, so no photos! Memphis and Graceland are a different story though. I’ve never been a fan of Elvis in any way shape or form so I wasn’t all that thrilled about going. I mean come’on, anyone willing to sing a duet with Frank Sinatra is totally uncool in my book. That ain’t rock and roll! That’s too much like Pat Boone singing heavy metal cover songs. Yeah, that bad.

I actually enjoyed the tour quite a bit although the Graceland mansion was a lot smaller than I imagined. Out of respect for Elvis memory, they don’t let you tour the upstairs rooms! That’s total BS, the tour has all the charm of a carnival of tackyness yet they draw the line there. Whatever! We laughed the hardest at Elvis’ extremely tacky decor and this one item in particular. A white fur covered bed with a stereo system built into the overhead canopy. You have to wonder how many women took a ride on this thing! LOL Lisa seemed to think it was really cool though! I wish I had one of those myself!

Lying on the bed appeared to be a selection of Elvis’ sequined pajamas, even when he was asleep he was tacky!

The best part about the mansion tour was the trophy building out back on the grounds. It had tons of memorabilia on display, including gold and platinum records with plaques, many of his custom made outfits, old original movie posters from his many flicks and dozens of tv monitors running continous looped clips from his many tv performances thru the years. That was pretty impressive.

That night we went to the Rendezvous Restauarant for some Memphis style ribs that were finger licking good! The place was packed with people!

Then we walked down the alley to check out the world famous Peabody Hotel where they have a group of ducks that come down the elevator from the roof top and take a red carpet march to the lobby fountain twice a day. We were there too late for the duck walk but the lobby was insanely beautiful and very impressive! I found this photo below on the web that’s much nicer than the one I took. Look closely and you can see the ducks swimming in the fountain.

The next morning we drove up thru Nashville and on to Kentucky where we thoroughly enjoyed the mountain scenery. I didn’t take any photos here. Later on though in northern West Virginia we drove thru a mountain pass that had a very unusual rock formation that I just had to get photos. It doesn’t look all that impressive this small, so click on the image to get a larger view with the crescent moon shaped rock layers. Very striking in person, the scale of the pass that was cut thru the rock face is huge, it makes you feel so tiny when you look up at it.

Well that’s all for today kids, I have more to share in the next post that will be all about the New York part of the trip with more photos! Including meeting Evil Julie and a close encounter with Justin Timberlake! Hope you guys are having a great weekend!

We were so tired when we got in last night, I think we both just collapsed into comas. Ally da Pup was certainly elated to see NY again, she sure perked up when we got into familiar territory. Right after we we crossed the George Washington Bridge she sensed we were close to home and got very excited. She had a very miserable trip, she does not like riding in a car at all and seemed to be mad at us the entire trip. LOL Poor dog, probably believes the entire purpose of the trip was for no other reason than to torture her senseless.

I’ll just have time to post a few highlights and of course meeting fellow blogging buddies is on the top of the list. Meeting Jules at La Madeleine Cafe and Bakery for breakfast was very cool and fun. It was great finally meeting her after reading her blog for so long. We didn’t have nearly enough time to hang out! She is very sweet and funny, and a lot quieter than I expected, though I think she was a bit nervous. Unfortunately, I was still half asleep when we met, so I know I wasn’t very talkative, however, she and Lisa got along famously and I mostly let them do the talking while I absorbed as much caffeine and food as I could.

Anyone that reads Jules regularly knows how irreverent and fun she can be on her blog so you’ll have to read her post to find out what I mean. She did unzip her pants for us though! Woohoo! Of course you’ll have to read her take on that! A very nice post! Hugs Jules!

We drove across Arkansas (nothing to see here except porn shops and 18 wheelers LOL) to Memphis where we were able to snag some awesome barbecue at the Rendevous, a ribs joint made more famous in a John Grisham novel, The Firm, take a short tour of the Graceland Mansion (70′s tack fest LOL) and browse the incredibly beautiful lobby of the famous Peabody Hotel in downtown. That’s the place famous for the ducks marching to the fountain in the center of the lobby twice a day. Unfortuately we missed the duck march but still enjoyed the visit.

Moving on we passed thru Nashville again and on up thru Kentucky where we marveled at the beauty of the Blue Grass Parkway scenery. West Virginia was next, another beautiful state, where we met up with the one and only Nanner Peach. Nanner and I met once before when she made a trip thru New Orleans back in March 2005 and we had a blast day tripping around the French Quarter. This time we went out to eat dinner with her and her son Nate at one of her favorite restaurants. OMG, we were stuffed and the food was very good. Nate is fun and lively and a good looking young man, takes after his mom!

After dinner we all went over to Nanner’s newly refurbished home. It’s looking great and is coming along nicely, the repairs look nearly complete! If you read her blog, you know her home was nearly completely destroyed in a fire in which most of her cats died. Very, very sad. Nanner is very soft spoken and smiles a lot and has always been one of my favorite blogging friends. I think she has met more fellow bloggers than anybody, we were mentally going over her list and I’m sure we counted more than 20 people!

Now that we’re back in NY and had a good night’s sleep we’re up and about planning what we’ll be doing in Manhattan for the next few days before I fly back to N.O. on Thursday. We’re trying to plan a meeting with Evil Julie, even though I’ve been here a few times before, we haven’t gotten together yet. That should be a lot of fun! We’re also planning a trip to the Museum of Natural History in Central Park, I’ve always wanted to go there. I’m a big fan of natural and human history and I’m really looking forward to it.

That’s all for now! You’ll also want to read Lisa’s update on the trip right here. Although I do have a few photos to post, I’m going to wait till I get back to N.O. and write another post about that stuff!

Well, I’m home again, after 1500 miles of driving from NYC to Texas and 2000 miles of flying , I am dead dog tired. First thing on the agenda was taking a nap! We had a great time though! This was my third trip flying up to New York to visit Lisa since we met thru our blogs nearly two years ago and every trip has been a helluva lot of fun. We found this small, but great restaurant that served Argentine cuisine in Manhattan and stuffed ourselves on delicious chorizo sausage and an amazing sampler of empanadas. Damn the food was so good, we will definitely be going back to that one!

We went downtown to meet a friend of Lisa’s at Harry’s Bar at the Helmsley Hotel and ended up passing thru Grand Central Station. Although I’ve been there before, years ago, it’s always awe inspiring to see it again. The inside of the terminal is so huge and cavernous with gigantic chandeliers and beautifully done marble work that you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the scale of the place.

On the drive down, the high points were the beautiful mountain scenery in Virginia and Tennessee and a too short lunch stop in Nashville where we lucked out on finding a cool restaurant called Big River Brewing in the heart of the old town. It was directly across the street from the Hard Rock Cafe along the river front and the food was delicious!

Continuing on, just after crossing the Mississippi River into Arkansas, we were amazed at the number of 18 wheelers on the road. It seemed like there were 10 big rigs for every car we saw, causing me to remark that it seemed like everyone in Arkansas must drive one of these things. This got us to talking about about the ways of truckers and the type of life they lead on the road, away from home and I ended up telling Lisa a secret about one of the favorite pastimes of these guys when they’re driving.

Looking at the photo above, you can see that the driver has quite a vantage point for a nice view of the passenger’s seat in every car that passes them on their left on the highway. The next time you’re in the passenger seat on the interstate, look up at the driver as you pass a truck, you’ll notice that the driver will almost always be looking down at you as you pass. What they’re hoping for is a good view up the skirts of any female passengers. Of course, the best ones are pantiless and sitting somewhat carelessly thinking that no one can see anything. At the very least you might get a nice view of some very shapely legs or cleavage. I know this from personal experience, I drove a big truck for a short while some years ago and I can tell you that the view is much, much better than you might imagine.

Occasionally you run across a female passenger that knows this and takes full advantage of it by deliberately flashing the truck driver as they speed by. Hey, it can get monotonous driving for long hours and thousands of miles like those guys do, sometimes it’s the only entertainment they get!

Further on, we stopped and met Tish which was really cool! She is funny and witty and treated us to a great meal at a local, yet famous cafeteria called Bryce’s. Unfortunately we didn’t get to visit long, we still had quite a ways to go to get to Texas and I had an early morning flight back to New Orleans.

I did get to turn Lisa on to Waffle House food and waffles and Ally da Pup was a lot of fun to have along. Ally is very afraid of car travel though, poor thing had to be tranquilized most of the drive time but she seemed to enjoy the numerous rest stops and motel stays. We did our best to keep her occupied.

Anyway, I had a great time and now I need to get lots more sleep. I’m sure we’ll have more later, hope you guys stayed out of trouble! Have a great weekend!