Dog Town News
Furry Pole Sitter Seeks Guinness Record.
Bobby the Black Squirrel was spotted sitting on the crossbar of a local telephone pole earlier this afternoon. Minutes later when he descended he confessed he was just doing some warmups for a new pole sitting record for black squirrels. He claims that Maurice the Brown Squirrel cheated on his record setting pole sitting last fall and he says that he can prove it. At this time however he is seeking the perfect pole to take a shot at the record. When asked what he considers to be the best pole in the area, he replied, “I like this one quite a bit, it has a great view of that oak tree across the street where I spotted this really hot babe, Brittney Squirrel drawing the blinds over her nest. I heard she has the bushiest tail around. I mean, dude, she was in a thong! I’m pretty sure this is the pole.”
New War Memorial Unveiled in Paris
Paris officials have unveiled a masterpiece of classic sculpture with the latest works of French Master Sculptor, Pierre Letardo. The presentation was a grand scene with marching bands, hot air balloons and mime artists and circus clowns. The French Prime Minister was on hand to dedicate the sculpture to the memory of the lone French soldier killed in the war with Iraq. The unknown soldier was apparently backed over by a French armored vehicle while retreating at the first sighting of a group of well armed Iraqi schoolchildren. His body was unrecognizable and unidentifiable according to news sources. There was a moment of silence during the Prime Ministers speech when he apparently could not recall the French battle cry, an aide informed him that there were none on record and the speech continued after a cajun american in the crowd shouted “Laissez le Bon Temp Roule” to fill in the awkward moment of quiet.
The scene immediately following the dedication was marred by a french flyer in a small Cessna airplane when he attempted to fly through the arch and wow the crowds. He missed his mark and crash landed in a field about 2 kms away. He was unhurt in the accident.
Woman Sues God for Damage
Mrs. Billy Joe Diddler seeks damage remuneration in the amount of $14 trillion dollars for the cost of repairs to her home and psychiatric help to get over her hurt feelings. She claims that she has always loved and believed in God and he has shown nothing but contempt to her by sending a windstorm to her home that damaged one of her plastic shutters. When asked why it would cost so much to repair the shutter she replied, “Well, the shutter only costs $4.95 at WalMart but I’m going to need psychiatric help for the rest of my natural born life. If I live another 40 years do you think I’ll be able to afford that kind of help on what I make now? You’ve got to be kidding me! Besides, I’m sure he can afford it and I know he won’t want me praying to the Devil! Hallelujah!”
Have a great Memorial Day!!!!
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lmmfao sev, you are a funny funny man, much to clever!!!!:):):)
The French thing KILLED me;)
Hey! Happy Memorial Day there Sev!!
*Buffle-goose*
Yeah, where is my *gravatar*?
Those were a riot!!! The squirrell was my favorite.
Happy Memorial Day to you too!
Nice layout bro! Dude, you just keep on changin’ this thing!
Happy Mem. Day, 7!! And lookie… I gots me a gravatar now! (Thanks Celti!)
And yet another good look for your dog-style life, my man!
Happy Memorial Day, Seven!
Happy holiday, kid.
I flew a French fryer once. All the passengers were greasebags.
Happy Memorial Day to you too! Thanks for the changes, yes I can tell! Thanks for the *** tip too! Wonder if I can sue God for all the time my sidebar has been messed up. Things that make ya go hmmmmm!
Lois Lane
a bird pooped on my car. thanks for nothing, God!!
Those were great! I loved the one about the squirrel. Classic!! It was so different from your usual writing style. You are full of surprises.
Great news! the french cessna didn’t crash after all,it was last reported to have reached the Carrier “Charles
de Gaulle” in Indian Ocean south of Pakistan. The Carrier has been reported to help The US bomb the Talibans in afghan mountains,all the French navymen involved in this mission salute all of you civilians and thank u for caring.Cheers.
I have been waiting for you lover.
Changes are afoot in the Realm.
Waiting to hear what you think.
You are quite the amusing cajun cowboy today.
Come play… with me!
Bobby the Squirrel better watch his furry ass – the kestrels and ferruginous hawks also love the telephone poles. He’s making their jobs easy!
Man… you tell the greatest stories!
You crack me up!
Thanks for the laugh, needed something to boost my spirits…
miss you much!
just sitting here giggling into my coffee mug
LOVE this post, Seven! Think the jury will give that ditz $14 trillion?
A furry pole sitter? At first I thought you were peaking in my windows, the I remembered I’m not all that furry….;)
Good Morning…..*poinkz*
BTW….where is my gravatar?
thequeen= thanks! glad you loved it! just silly shit inspired by seeing the squirrel on the pole out in front of my house hehe
Seamus= hey man, thanks and same to you of course! Where did you see that gravatar last?
Karen= thanks hon, I just came from your place, best wishes on your, ahem, meeting next month!
Tesco= thanks, i’m just never satisfied with the way it looks and I get bored easily, it’s my toy!
Ang= wow looka you with a cool new gravatar! turtle-style of course
i have no idea what that means btw haha!
Jeanette= same to you sweetie! Love your new gravatar too!!
Lois= you’re always welcome hon, you know that!
I would definitely get a lawyer on it right away if I were you!
Dawn=
thats gotta be worth at least $15 trillion in my book! Give God a call, maybe he’ll settle out of court hehe
Laurie= hi hon! thank you, thank you, glad you enjoyed!!
GPV= hmmm, that follow up story didn’t hit stateside, I wonder why?
My Demon Queen= hi there lover, you know what I think
xoxox’s!
Carolyn= I thought about him being quite brave just sitting up there, he’s lucky we don’t have many of those around my neighborhood! hehe
Tricia= hi sweetness! laugh away all you wish, glad that you’re smiling! and what, no underwear again today? woohoo!!
Serra= I love to hear women giggle, it’s a sweet sound and I love coffee too! I have no idea what that means either LOL I think she just might have a good case! hahaha!
Boo= sadly you live waaaay too far away for me to peek into your windows LOL Good Morning to you too!! *hugs*~! Did we submit a gravatar for you? My mind is drwaing a blank on that for some reason, must be the valiums, or maybe the prozac, or hmmmm too much LSD when I was a teenager?
OHS= oops missed your comment for a minute there hehe sorry! and just when/where did you fly that french fryer hmmmm you crazy guy!!
More giggling, this time into pink lemonade because I’m smoking ribs and it’s too damned hot for coffee
I dunno if she’s got a case or not, but good luck to her serving those papers!
)
giggle *snort*
*flutter* Why, thank you. Would you like a piece of gum?
TAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGG
you were tagged on my blog!!
Another glorious day in dog town!
I never thought about suing God, although my little sister had a nasty habit of tattling on me to him.
(Personally I think he always liked me better than her anyway. I was always getting into spectacular scrapes that were much more entertaining to watch!)
Catch you later!
That wicked wench tagged me too!
Let’s get her!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOWWL
Hey Sev, hope you had a great weekend. I’m getting ready for NEXT weekend already! he he!
Mmmm thanks for the nibble 7
Se7-
“dude she was in a thong”, not to mention the pole metaphors…. U crack me up! Hope you’re doing well!
The real ? is not where is my Gravatar, but where is my?? or my ??….uh oh, I don’t write that way publicly. *-*
Serra= hehe I doubt if she has thought that far ahead
Kristin= I love when you do that *snort* thing you do
Jeanette= you’re welcome. I’m feelin’ kinda fruity today, sure I’ll try some banana gum…
TWW= gah!!! both you and Angel have me tagged!!!! Angel was first so you’ll have to wait, silly!! hehe
Juno= life is good in Dog Town, everyone should buy a house a nice little dog house here
Was that sister of yours an angel??
Nanner= hey grrrl!! hehe
Tricia= ok, you go first hehe then I’ll pile on… weee!! hahahaha!
Last Girl= hi sweetie!!! Next weekend??? hmmmmm, i’ll have to be there won’t I?
TWW= did I nibble on something good? It was kinda dark….
GEL= I’m doing great! thanks for asking, *hugs*~!! and I’m not sure what you mean with all them ? marks
HHmmm squirrel BBQ..
So when the mail box is full does it goe down?
God felt the shrinks needed work so he used the woman as an instrument of God to help out the shrink?
“let the god times roll, how funny
how n’orleans, mais non a Paris, n’est-ce pas?
DId U find those or make them up or alter them? Woman sues G-d? WTF??? LOL
Blue= LOL, i was thinking the same thing, why don’t they get french fried up there?
Mike= hey I’m mostly cajun, qu’attendriez-vous? LOL
GEL= hi there, why I made those up of course! If I had “stolen” them I would have said so. glad you liked them!