i bet you didn’t know….RE-UPDATED
these fun facts about New Orleans:
- If you are caught pronouncing the name of our city as New Orleens, the local gendarmes will pick you up and whisk you away to a hidden underground bunker at the Royal Sonesta Hotel on Bourbon St. where Gerard Depardieu will beat you silly with a catfish until you can pronounce it correctly. Correct is either N’Awlins or New Awlins or New Alunz depending on how close you live to downtown.
- If you can pronounce the name Tchoupitoulas St. correctly you are either a local or a long time resident or ya just got lucky. Correct pronunciation gets you a lifetime subscription to Shrimp & Crawfish Magazine.
- If you call crawfish “crayfish” you are immediateley labeled a yankee and sent away to see #1.
- Everyone that lives north of Baton Rouge is a yankee. period. no if’s ands or buts. That’s only 1 hours drive north.
- If you douse your breakfast eggs with Tabasco hotsauce and chase em down with extra strong cafe au lait you are a true fan of New Orleans food. Keep a picture of those eggs in your wallet, flashing it will keep you from going to #1.
- Spicy Red Beans and Rice w/ hot smoke sausage are always eaten on Mondays. Anything with seafood in it is eaten on Fridays, list includes: raw oysters, catfish, crabs and shrimp and tasty cooters at Hooters.
- Attending the biggest, most lavish Mardi Gras parades will net you the coolest beads thrown. Rex and Bacchus parades are two excellent ones. Save them suckers for next year and skip the parades. Wear ALL of the beads previously caught to Bourbon St. on Mardi Gras day where they can be exchanged for LOTS of tittie and naughty bits flashing and be sure to have your camera ready.
- If you attend the “Cajun Fais Do Do” at Tipitina’s every Sunday then you are a true fan of the cajun undergound culture.
- If you get body blocked by a small child while reaching for a cheap ass pair of beads thrown from a float, then and only then can you understand the true spirit of Mardi Gras.
- If you come to N.O. and hang out at the Hard Rock Cafe then your ass sucks canal water and we don’t want to know you. You are better off hanging in the quarter at some seedy bar with female impersonators pretending like you are a local along with the 800,000 other tourists that do.
- If you walk into a restaurant and order a sandwich called a poor boy and pronounce it that way, see #1. Correct is po’boy.
- Jambalaya and shrimp or crawfish etouffe or seafood gumbo and boudin cajun sausage are good to eat any day of the week!
- The term “riding the streetcar” can be considered both actually riding a street car on Canal St. or as sexual innuendo.
- It is perfectly normal to meet men named “Michele” it’s a good cajun name.
- French people (from France) are a buncha whiny assed, fruity looking, Gauloises smoking, chicken shit cajunposerwannabes that smell bad. We can communicate in french but it is NOT the same.
- You might think you would look tacky walking aound downtown wearing 100 pairs of cheap ass plastic brightly colored and gaudy beads, but trust me you will blend right in.
- If you come to N.O. and don’t eat a muffelata at Central Grocery, expect Mr. Hands to show up at your house, with his own personal catfish and beat you silly.
- If you shagged your girlfriend in Pirates Alley behind St. Louis Cathedral, then you automatically become a member of the Krewe of Cajun Booty Pirates.
- If you and your girlfriend ever shagged late at night in the tres spooky City of the Dead aka. St. Louis Cemetary, you got my respect cause it’s spooky as hell even in daylight!
- The Cafe Du Monde is a wonderful outdoor place to sit and enjoy some of the worlds best cafe au lait (latte and au lait are NOT the same, click link)the old fashioned way and eat chewy powdered sugar coated donuts called beignets (benyays) while gawking at all the tourists walking by. The waiters bring big old-fashioned kettles of boiling hot coffee and another with scalding hot milk and pour them simultaneously right into your cup at the table. Most delicious. Do not miss this landmark across from Jackson Square and the St. Louis Cathedral!
If anyone has any cool fun facts to add to my list, let me know!
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I renew my insistence that muffalettas from Central Grocery be included in the list of yummies. Mmmm, ollllive loaf.
I agree and consider it done!!
added to tha list
Ooookay, I’m gonna give this a shot… is it Chowpatowelless St.? Hey, before you beat me with a crawfish or a catfish try pronouncing Kanawha, Monongahela or Monongahelia.
Okay, my Mama says its pronounced Chopatoolless.
Inana you rock AND you have just won our secret mystery prize!
It’s a handcrafted replica made from partially licked clean popsicle sticks of the catfish used by Gerard Depardieu! and it’s personally autographed by him as well. It’s been stored in a freezer here in my underground bunker with real catfish and the power has been off for 3 weeks now so it will have that long lasting “authentic” cat fish smell, aren’t you proud?
Great use of the chicken shit phrase in No. 15. Good job on your list! Glad I could inspire ya
Big Hugs!
inky= thanks and mega hugs back at ya girl
Damn Seven, you gonna make me smell like a Cooter Hooter girl!!
Olive salad…drooooooool. GAWD. And, LOOKIT — I’m over there on the side! Thank ya, cowboy!
Inana= LOL at least thats what I have heard that hooters cooters are real good, but i wouldn’t know anything aboot that
Stacey= hiya, welcome to my bunker under the Royal Sonesta, Gerard says hi too!
(special treat! mouse hover over your name in the sidebar)
Awww, I moused over, and I’m blushin’! You are such a sweetie Seven.
I’m thinkin me and my hubby need to travel to NO for vacation without the children.
What about binnets (shit, I don’t know how to spell it) at Cafe du Monde? I used to go there with my Papa when I was a little girl–they would serve me a little coffee with my milk. I’m *sure* that’s what spawned my present love of Lattes.
Thanks for stopping by; I’m flattered to have your company!
Aimee= I am the one that’s flattered, thank you for stopping by.
and i’m glad you did cause I thought you were on my blogroll but now you are
I am also kikin my own ass for not thinkin about the cafe du monde. its now added in.
also check out the link for cafe au lait, the guy has a perfect description of the difference between au lait and latte. and the Cafe Du Monde link has some cool pics of the place that look like circa 1940ish
It’s true that beignets are the best thing to happen to fried food since the churro. As for people watching at Cafe du Monde, my favorite is to watch people eating said beignets then sneezing a huge white cloud of powdered sugar which has been nasally injested unintentionally.
Hahahahaha! EXACTLY, TinyHands! (And thank you for correcting my spelling (blush)).
You can’t get a good au lait in California, so I always go for the Latte, but if I had my choice… well, you know, you’re still there.
Oh, MMMM! Thanks for the link. No one here knows the difference (and if you say chickory, they think you’re asking for gum or something). One of these days, I’m coming back…
Mr Hands= LOL how true, I can recall that very thing happening to me more than once!
Aimee= places like Starbucks turn me off in a big way. There are lots of small local coffee shops here that are way cooler to hang than those coffee theme parks. It’s hard to believe you can’t find good coffee somewhere. Sometimes the place you least expect has the best coffee in town. Even Waffle House in the Ga. area always had kik ass coffee, IHOP is another and it don’t cost 2.80 for a cup! I am a big fan of sweet espresso and that can be hard to find tho.
Ahh, the Cafe Du Monde. Like most 20-somethings, I spent the majority of my week in New Orleans getting wasted on Bourbon Street. But I’m not sure that intoxication could compare with the sugar high I got from eating all those sugar coated beignets.
My papa used to skip church with me sometimes when I was little and take me to Cafe Du Monde. That was fun. A 6 year old drinking cafe au lait’s (papa had black chicory coffee) and eating powdery beignets. Yum.
Gooch= it’s hard to beat bourbon st with its seedy, raw energy on a good night. I was hanging down there when i was in my mid teens lol and drinking age was 18 then and if you LOOKED 16 they would sell you booze and never check your id. I been to lots of big cities including all over europe and amsterdam is the only place that comes close to n.o. for me.
Kate= hiya! welcome to tha hideout! heh love the pic on your site, with the christmas lights dragging behind your car lol
coffee and chicory are bad bad bad for chillins but i started drinking it at about 6 i think, my grampa used to fix it for us kids after mom and dad left for work on the sly. and he made it cowboy style, just threw the grounds right in to a pot of boiling water and bam! instant caffeine rush! couldn’t have been worse if we mainlined it
Sayvin:
(Yes, I’m from WV, and we say it that way, TOO!). Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’ve never been to N.O., but I have a couple of friends who live there that are on my case about visiting sometime. Now I will look less like a tourist, maybe.
Mary= Hi! i loved your story about the christmas lights and all of a sudden i can’t recall if i left a comment or not. if i didn’t i am a dumass cause it was funny as hell !
if you come and you get picked up by the gendarmes Gerard might be retired =( he is getting a bit old to really swing a catfish well and besides small chidren flee in terror at the sight of the HUGE nose he is sportin around these days.
But don’t worry! we will find a suitable replacement i am sure
ummm… Tiny said CHURRO. heh heh churro. (sorry, its visual humor)
and i want to let EVERYONE know that I make the best cafe au laits.
because i ROAST my own coffee…. now if only i had a dairy farm too, i would SO be in bidness.
N’Awlins, dahlin, totally FUCKIN rocks! I’ve been just a few times now and ate my lil ol’ self sick. I get cravings for gumbo at the Gumbo Shop. I’m a Royal Cafe junkie…..oh that iron work! You have to swing by Ann Rice’s pad, just so you can say you know where she lives. Oh, can’t forget the obligatory dinner at either Antoine’s or Galatoires. What’s a trip to NO without a ride through the garden district and top it all off with a side trip up river road to see how they lived circa 1860’s. Can you tell I LOVE NO?
mary= your link is broken in your comment, it won’t open your blog page.
but the link at bitchcakes blog does work= a thousand winding roads
christel= fresh ground coffee is so good it has to be bad!
Kristin= knowing that much about NO makes you an honorary resident and since i am a vampire(part time) i know exactly where her house is
Honarary resident,right on!! Will you show me her AR’s pad……..please!?! I couldn’t find it. Yeah, I do know a bit don’t I? We’ll have to have a hurricane and a chat next time I’m there.
hell ya, that would be fun!
I maintain the best cooter soup is at Brennan’s… even though I think they’re an overpriced tourist trap.
And my favorite bar is the Chart Room. Sweet, cheap little dive. I feel right at home when I’m there!
But for some of the best food in the whole damn world: Rita’s on Chartre.
Ang= i agree about Brennan’s
very much so, it’s definitely
not on my recommended list…
i think i have been in the Chart
Room a few times but it’s been
quite a while =)
and can’t say I have heard of Rita’s
sounds like u know your way around!
contact me if you come to the area
again!
I’ve only been a few times, but I make it my business to make myself at home wherever I go (which means searching out the best possible food)! Spent lots o’ time on my own last visit and met up with a great many locals who not only got me drunk but treated me to lunch as well. Hell, folks in Iowa are nice, but we’re a cagey lot…
Oh, and I’ll probably be down for a visit in March with at least one other blogger friend; we’ll have to hook up! (And go check out Rita’s some night for dinner… it’ll knock yer socks off!)
Ang= that would be cool,
so far i haven’t met anyone
from blogworld but Zelda &
Jethro might be coming for
mardi gras! awesome!
The first thing we do when we hit New Orleans is go to Maspero’s for fried shrimp and jambalaya. And, if you’re a true professional, you have one special pair of ragged out tennis shoes for Bourbon Street.