I Hate Cutting Grass
Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe cutting grass or doing yard work? I’ve always been that way. When I was a kid I was very allergic to fresh mown grass and it made me extremely miserable with swollen eyes, runny nose, burning, itchy skin and short of breath for hours. Did I ever get a break from cutting it? Hell no, my old man probably thought it built character or someshit and I was forced to cut it anyway. It wasn’t like I needed the exercise, I was always very active. And it didn’t matter that I felt like I was freakin’ dying because I could barely breathe, I had to cut it anyway. For some reason, the allergies have slowly diminished as I got older and older, but I hate it now more than ever. I remember dreaming of the day when I would become an adult and would never have to do yard work again.
That never happened! I became an adult, yes (sort of), but did I ever get a break from cutting it? Well, only when I lived in apartments, then some other schmuck had to cut it for me. Yay! And now I find it’s come full circle, my old man is too old and feeble to cut his own lawn so now I’ve had to take over the miserable ritual. Woe is me. If I had a time machine, I would go back and kill the bastard that came up with the idea that lawns needed trimming. I like to think it’s just a sick fad, why can’t it be fashionable to have a small jungle growing around your home? Think of how much more fun that would be!
When you think about the ecological impact, tall, natural grass makes much more sense. We pour fertilizer and insecticides all over it to nourish and protect it then we have to buy fuel and machines to maintain it. We waste fresh drinking water on it to keep it from dying! The poisons end up in our water supplies and the burnt fuel pollutes the air. Then just think of the impact the manufacturing of the billions of dollars worth of lawn equipment we buy every year has on the planets resources. Throw in thousands of serious injuries and medical emergencies that occur while cutting grass and it’s easy to see why it’s a really bad, bad idea. I believe that keeping a well manicured lawn is one of the most wasteful things that a homeowner can do. If you like cutting grass, then I think you’re one sick fuck.
Notice that I have nothing against veggie gardens or growing flowers, just don’t ask me to help you tend one, LOL And of course growing food crops or garden vegetables is a necessity, to me that’s not a waste of time, energy or resources. It’s a positive impact.
You’re probably wondering what brings up this rant. I was cutting grass at my folks house the other day and ended up with a HUGE gash in my arm from brushing past a freshly trimmed bush in the front yard. It sliced me open like a knife and I was barely able to stop the bleeding, two days later it still hurts like hell. It’s going to leave a massive, ugly scar and I’m PISSED. Now, I look like I was just in a bar brawl and right in the middle of job hunting. Just what I needed!
So, happy frikkin’ birthday to me, which just happens to be tomorrow by the way. So I ask you, in honor of my birthday and for the sake of our planet, I want you all to boycott cutting grass for one day. That’s not hard is it? Please, give the poor grass a break, let it grow dammit! The grass just wants to be free, grass has rights too!! LOL
What does the photo below have to do with this post? Not a thing!
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Funny - you know I read somewhere recently that nationally, Americans spend somewhere close to 30 billion dollars a year to maintain their lawns…. so why then are so many lawns overgrown with weeds? And why all the people who let their lawns go to pot live next to us!
Happy Birthday tomorrow and in your honor I will not only boycott cutting grass tomorrow but I shall boycott it for the entire week! How’s that for a birthday gift? Well, probably pretty lame in the big picture of things … !!
that pic is hysterical! I’m with you on the lawn thing. I’ve never mowed grass in my life and I hope I never have to. my husband doesn’t like it either but that’s just the way we work it - he does mowing, I do laundry. and my mom? she actually loves mowing the grass! she’s fucking nuts!
Happy Birthday! You have my permission to refrain from mowing today.
I will take your advice and not mow today. Or tomorrow. However, since it hasn’t rained for like a month here, it doesn’t need to be cut anyway.
Two words for you my friend: landscaping service. Pay someone else to do the work for you and enjoy youself. The $20 is probably more than worth your time.
Now that’s a new one - blaming your bar brawl cuts and bruises on the lawnmower
Happy Birthday Se7!!! Wishing you the best year EVER!!!
Hugs!!!!!
Happy, Happy, Birthday, Birthday! Listen, if God had meant for us to mow grass, he would have put slippers on our feet.
Happy Birthday, se7en! Today is my wedding anniversary. So celebrations all around.
Keith almost hit his jugular on a tree branch while mowing our lawn…of course it was night time (he was acting all cool with his headlights on the John Deere), and he probably had one too many cold ones (said John Deere with the headlights for nifty night mowing also has two cup…er, beer can holders.)
He’s banned from mowing the lawn at night.
Sandra Barkevich - Romance Author
Sandy
*June 30, 2007 at Sandra’s Goings On - Guest Blogger, Elisa Adams ~ Secrets Volume 19: Timeless Passions
Down with mowing!
Happy Happy Birthday my dear Se7, I hope your day is wonderful. *hugs*
Happy birthday, Se7en! You need to do what everyone in Brooklyn does: pave over your yard. Cement yards are much easier to maintain and easier on the allergies as well!
You are absolutely right. Grass should be left to grow. And then it will die back, and then in the spring it will arise. Besides, it’s good to lie on high grass — very beddish, sort of.
I’m sorry I missed your birthday. I end up having to cut my grass or they fine me here. Otherwise I’d join your “jungle fever”.
Happy Birthday Darlin’!
No cutting grass unless you get to smoke it afterwards
PS. Purple with pink bows
Happy Belated Birthday!! Hope you enjoyed the day. BTW… I am allergic the fresh cut grass. Just the scent of it as I pass someone mowing will send my sinuses into a tizzy. I feel your pain.
Happy Birthday Punk! I did not cut grass on your birthday, although I would rather cut grass than wash dishes, but you already knew I was a sick fuck.