The Incurable Cynic
Here’s a list of things that I’ve either learned over the years or that just annoy the hell out of me:
Relative Humidity has nothing to do with whether or not it’s raining at your cousins house.
New and Improved means they’ve found a new and improved way to charge more for the same crappy product.
30% More Free! means they’ve figured out how to make it cheaper.
Miracle Drugs involve 2 separate miracles. One is if it actually works at all. Second is if it doesn’t make you more ill than you were without it.
Doctors will always figure out a way to give you the maximum number of return appointments for even the most minor types of illnesses.
No matter how fast you go on the freeway, there’s always some asshole that thinks you’re going too slow and will ride directly on your rear bumper at 80 mph, mistakenly believing this will cause everyone to magically speed up no matter how heavy the traffic is.
Here’s a commercial blooper I would love to see!
And finally… Owwww!
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I’ve had that guy on the freeway behind me many times! I purposly slow down to piss him off.
“”No matter…. heavy the traffic is.”"
I had that person behind me today when coming into work. She finally got the hint when I slowed to twenty MPH and kept looking in my rear view mirror and decided to back off.
I’ve had that guy behind me, too! His attitude is, “it doesn’t matter how fast I drive, as long as I’m faster than everyone else on the road!”
“New and improved” drives me crazy, especially when the old item didn’t NEED improving!
Those people apparently need a hobby
*snickering* the gorilla pic is hilarious.
Man, that guy sure gets around, as I had him on my ass this morning too. …wait… BWAHAHAHAHA
the “driving too fast guy, not the gorilla!”
Damn cold medicine!
So right on so many points!
ROFLMAO @ gorilla!
Happy Halloween Dude!
Wow! A lot of catching up.
I’m glad you’re feeling better.
I’m so sorry about your grandma.
And no matter how fast you try to go on the freeway, there’s always some asshole who’s doing 40.
*still chuckling at the gorilla picture*
I think theres clones of the “freeway guy” on every major roadway. Ugh!
Hey your asshole of the freeway has muted into the asshole of the backroads…. a few too many of ‘em at that!
New and improved… okay, it’s either:
A: New
or
B: Improved
It can’t fuckin’ be both!!!!
muted = mutated… oops
Too true!
Funny
My least favorite ahole of the backroads is the one that can’t stay on his/her side of the center divide. Hey, if you have to hog up more than just your lane, then you are not smart enough to be driving that fast! Seven, I am sorry to hear about your latest travails. SOmetimes life sucks. I am glad your medical issues at least are looking much better. May you have many joyful days of computer surfing from now on!
Good to see you posting again. Hope you’re continuing to feel better.
The pictures are hilarious!
Yeah, gotta watch out for the miracle drugs. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you feel better soon and that there is something that works that doesn’t make you so ill. *BIG HUGS*