let the bodies hit the floor…
there’s nothin’ wrong with me!…. Play this while reading this post! Idea shamelessly ripped from THE LAST GIRL ON EARTH! (and she’s hot too!)
Often times working at sea could get just downright boring, so damn boring that you just hoped some horrific acident or the vessel sinking or someshit would happen just to break the monotony. After you’ve read every dime novel in the ships library, seen every single movie the company ships out with the weekly supplies and wanked off about a bazillion times undercover in your bunk at night to the outrageous quantities of XXX porn that gets passed around, theres just not much else to do, dammit. So, I took up pranks as a hobby, yes, I said pranks, and not just any pranks mind you, some were really quite bad and incredibly funny! One of my faves was short-sheeting bunks.
If you don’t know what that is, all you do is pull back the blanket and take the lower half of the sheet and pull it up to the pillow and remake the bunk/bed with the sheet folded back upon itself, when you try to get into the bed you find that there’s just no room!! To the unititiated this is a most unexpected thing and it’s hilarious watching some one try to get all the way in and yet it’s impossible. I did this one night to a buddies bunk and he was coming back from shore leave, BUT they asigned a visiting companies VIP to the bunk instead as there was no room in the VIP quarters. Here is this big fat old guy trying to get in the bunk and it’s pitch dark and we (4 in a room) can hear him gruntin’ like a bitch trying to get in the upper bunk. Then suddenly we hear a loud RIIIIIIPPP!!!! and the bastard stuck his feet right thru the sheet! He knew we had rigged the bunk cause we started like gigglin’ like little girls but the old fart didn’t say a word about it!
Tooth paste under the pillow trick, ok, this one is just a variation on the shave cream in the hand trick except the paste is under the pillow, who doesn’t stick their hands up under their pillow at night and then ends up smearing the goop all over their face?
The I glued your boots to the floor trick, ok, this one is just insane, I once got back at a guy that pulled the toothpaste gag on me by pouring an entire bottle of super glue on the bottom of his deck boots and put them back next to his bunk while he was asleep. The next morning he shows up on deckside in slippers with a boot in each hand and each one had a full size floor tile securely stuck to the bottom of each boot! It took him hours with a hacksaw to carefully cut all the floor tile off each one and damn he was pissed! But, he called a truce, he knew I had whipped his ass and he gave up.
Organized pranks, ok these were just plain rude, getting the diving crew together one time we had a cook onboard that just plain sucked ass, this guy was mean and honery, smoked while he was serving the chow and couldn’t cook his way out of a frikkin Home Ec class in jr. highschool. We agreed to ask this bastard for pancakes every morning when it was your turn to put in your breakfast order, he never cooked pancakes anyway but we all still asked just to get on his nerves. Then one day the sumbitch actually gives in and makes up a huge batch of pancakes we ALL say naaa, no thanks. This really pissed the sucker off and he whined about it for a week but he was a bit nicer afterwards, although the food still sucked ass.
My buddy Diver Dave (see post below and more on him here)once engaged in a prank war and I kicked his ass, too. One day he put a huge, live blue crab in my top desk drawer at my inshore office. He was across the shop and watched me open the drawer for a pen and I did a double-take because the damn crab moved and made me jump like a monkey! He laughed his ass off but he knew he was gonna get paybacks. Oh yeah, and it was gonna be juicy!!!
He tiptoed around the shop and offices all day, peeking around corners, opening every box and drawer with slow deliberation expecting some heinous prank of doom to befall him at any moment, but part of my return prank was to keep him in suspense as long as possible. He was getting really antsy by the end of the day and finally started begging me to just do it and get it over with but nope, I let him stew all day long. Finally at the end of the day it was time to go home and he started saying stuff like na-na I couldn’t do a good prank and other BS just to pick on me, but I just gave him my evil grin and let it go, and then, just as he thought he got away unscathed he grabbed his hardhat at the front of the shop to pass thru the construction yards to leave for home. He put the hat on and looked at me and said OH F*CK!!! you got me, you got me good you bastard that’s it, I’m done I can’t handle this anymore, TRUCE please!
I had put a huge gob nasty black axle grease inside his hat and smeared it all around the liner. Don’t mess with the dog!
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pranks are a sign of affection. I boots to the floor, that made me LOL dude
oooh fiiiiiiiiire!!! @_@
THAT was hillarious. I’ll keep it in mind to never try to outdo you in a prank. (thinks back to Yoda: “do or do no; there is no try”) I must always make sure there is no way to best what I have done.
I have the best prank of all, tCj. Just kill the ol’ dog. He can’t beat you from the grave!!
Just jokin… that was hilarious. I love pranks, my dad and our ‘family friend’ once had a huge prankwar. We tied his boat to a stump in the middle of the lake and he had to swim for it… great times.
you sure got dave good =D
Wow that’s some hard rock! The closest thing to that I listen to is the Darkeness, If you call that rock!??
Drowning Pool is pretty good. Glad ye like mrsmogul!
you guys screwed with the COOK??!! see, now that’s crazy. I’m sure he had his revenge without you guys even knowing about it! A little piss in the potatoes, a little semen in the soup….you know what I’m saying?
Mike= that was always one of my favorites! he never did get all the floor tile fully off the boots and he sawed it crooked so he walked funny !!
Angel= Moi? no no, i’m a nice guy on All Fools Day! uh huh …..~!
tCj= i thought ya might like the fiery pic! LOL
Lauren=!!!!!!!!! hey!!! not nice to kill poor innocent little lap dogs like me!!! hehe, i said lap. ~!
mrsmogul= i hope ya liked!
tCj= ahhh Drowning Pool, I nearly cried when the singer died…. truly sad and an amazingly good group! i love love love their music! almost as much as Godsmack!
mm hmm. Thanks for the morning laugh!
That is one thing I truly miss about living back home, pulling pranks on family! My all time favorite was the saranwrap over the toilet bowl. It really made a splash.
I’d love to try out some of your pranks on my brothers!
Lois Lane
You forgot the old cherry Kool Aid in the shower head! My room mate in college was pink for 2 weeks.
We slipped vodka into my biology teacher’s water glass. Got no effect. Guess the joke was on us. Maybe we shoulda put water in his vodka glass.
Don’t get me started on that death….
Godsmack~~Serenity…nice and acoustic…one of my faves….there’s just a pull to it….
And practical jokes…I’m a good girl…
*insert picture of horns holding up halo*
Do you remember the movie Mr. Roberts? I loved the pranks in that movie that they played on the captain. I could see you as a prankster….
Seven - shortsheeting is not funny. My brother did that shit to me all the time growing up.
I wrote a post about it but I can’t find the link for a specific post.
Oh and once I nailed my boyfriends boxers to the floor. Show him to not pick his dirty underwear up.
Perfect angel, you’re not…. remember the dancing devils on the halo? You inherited ‘em!
*winding up finger*
poke
is that better? *innocent grin*
lol. I havent been around in awhile and the new header is fun. haha. soo very you.
I hope all things are good for ya.
also….shoot me a comment back or email about how you got everyones image larger in haloscan…i like it!
D’ Anerah= you’re welcome!! =)
Lois= !!! hi hi hi!!!! good to see you about, =))) and I can just see you pulling that prank too!!
Kristin= Kool aid is also good for dying your hair! hi hon!!!!!!!
Michael= that should be funny, and it is, but for all the “wrong” reasons LOL
tCj= ya, i’ll just bet!! xoxo’s!
Brighton= that’s one of my fave Jack Lemmon movies! he ruled in that flick. *poink*~!
Becka= ohh lol, but nailng shorts to the floor is hilarious!! and shame on BF for leavin’ em about, he needs to just toss em and go commando! hehe
Angel= you’re too fast for me honeybunch!! *smooch*~!
Seven: I’m so very flattered! Thanks for the kudos! And the compliment. (Hey buddy boy…the red-head is blushing!…AND ROCKIN OUT!!!!)
This post is hilarious. Ah yes… takes me back to the days when I was a little more evil! (I’m still pretty bad!) Like the time I took a bucket of ice water over the shower curtain onto my first husband while he was taking a nice hot shower in the middle of winter. I waited around for payback for that one for weeks. He was just too nice and never did do anything to me. That’s why I got a divorce! Where’s the fun…
Then there was the laundry powder in the big fountain in front of my college student center. The bubbles WHERE HUGE FOR DAYS!!!
Those were the days…
xoxo
I so love this song, and I haven’t heard it in so long…. Sev, you rock!
*poke!*pokepokepokepokepokepoke*
Better?
Last Girl= you’re welcome! and those pranks sound like a lot of fun
Last Girl is evil!! who knew? 
Angel= LOL much better!!! hehe you always make me laff!!
Dawn= eeep! i just noticed that I didn’t reply your comment, sorrry! ya we were prolly pranked back double what we got LOL pretty stupid to mess with the cook in retrospect HAHA oh well,,,,
I was about to type up a recent prank I pulled, cuz it seems everyone is posting one, but I just realized I’ve not pulled a prank in over a year!!!! *GASP* (unless you count hiding of the ol’ man’s beer [in plain sight], but he loses it on a regular basis….)
I couldn’t hear the song :o( Love the axle grease!
My children are never NEVER going to be permitted to read this hilarious post.
Man, I LOVE that song. Why did the singer have to die, though? Damnit, they suck now.
You are a naughty, naughty man. I knew there was a reason I like you so much. Pranks kick ass.
tCj= beer hiding!! omg naughtay!
Micki= that just sounds nasty!!!
but funny! LOL i doubt i will ever mess with a cook again hehe
Nanner= i just checked the link, it works fine, maybe your pc can’t play mp3 files? hmm weird.
Cybele= thats probably i GOOD idea hahaha mini-pranksters are EVIL!! eeep!!
Celti= i love it too, and many others by them as well, sucks huh. crap!!!
I love pulling pranks on people, but then in my family you had to keep up or run like hell.. if you had no sence of humor trust me we got ya, LOL… Hey seven sorry I have not been here in a few days, But I am back now, LOL
A story for Cybele:
One time, I was visiting my sister’s friend (i think i was 11 she was 9) and she offered to make me a PB&J. Like the idiot I am, I accepted (she’s never nice unless there’s a mean twist to it somewhere). Turns out I had a peanutbutter jelly and cinnamon sandwich. The nastiest thing ever. (and I have yet to eat a PB&J since)
I got her back though. Few weeks later I visited her place (her mom babysat me and my sis before school) and I slipped a bit of her dog’s kibbles’n'bits in her cereal….
Moral: Kids are evil pranksters to each other without the use of a hilarious story like this. Enjoy them and their natural evil deeds.
I had a friend once who stuck a raw piece of steak into another friend’s apartment ventilation system. That was the retaliation. We can’t even remember what the original prank was. Poor guy spent days cleaning his apartment trying to find out where the smell was coming from.
Jade= hi hi!!! hehe i was just enjoying your new 5 ft of snow pics LOL!!
tCj= actually that combination doesn’t sound bad to me, must taste worse than the sound
and yes chill’s are born evile!!
Jethro= LOL the stench of death, like a dead mouse in the wall is the worst! The pranks I posted here are just a tip of my prank pullin’ iceberg, i’ve done far worse!!
Making my note—always be nice to se7en or watch your back, side, front, side..and all round….You were so full of life and love for it then and I have a very strong feeling you are even more so now just in many other ways…I still say you are the Best, The Kwelest, The Sweetest, and most likely one of the horniest guys around and still near the top of my list…better work harder to move on up….Huggs….
awwww Vickie!! you’re too sweet to me!! *SMOOCH* luv ya darlin’~!
No this is not about the post (though I listned to the song and liked). This is about your bottom line. That is very catchy. I adopted that philosophy but adopted it too late in life, only after I failed to please others.
Not as good as the blowing-things-up-side of you but probably safer.
havnt read a word yet, first time visit, i’m already a fan just by the looks of your blog, good job!
every time i come here you got some crazy different thing goin’ on!
pranks. yes. funny to read about, but not so funny if you are the victim of them. okay, yes, they’re funny if you’re the victim of them. they’re not funny if I’M the victim of them.
*poke*
*poke*
*poke*
*poke*
*poink!*
Oh too good, haha. I wish I was good at pranks. I’m just not creative when it comes to those things…
How do you get so many people to come to your blog?!?! I WANT THIS KIND OF TRAFFIC!
Shi= thanks, but I can’t take credit for that line, i heard it elsewhere myself…. =)
Laurie= hi hon!! =)) yes maybe a bit safer…LOL
Ms. o’Hara= thank you!!
el sid= ow, ow, ow, ow!! heheh
xoxo’s!!!!
Reama= practice makes perfect, or so i’ve heard
and it’s the voodoo spells I use, yes that’s it, well, either that or it’s all in the wrist …. 
nine
eight
Bwaahaahaa, that’s great…I think the best prank I’ve ever done is pissing off our computer tech by taping the prongs of the AC cord in the outlet. He tried for three hours to get his computer working, tearing it apart…and right before he ordered a new power supply someone let him in on what I had done.
On the older computer monitors, you could make them go black just by adjusting the brightness control in the back. I did that once to a computer guy and it took him quite some time to figure out why his monitor ‘wasn’t working.’ He ended up taking much of the computer apart before he finally figured it out!
BTW Dog, your new blog header thingie looks cool, except that I can only see it for 2 seconds and then it stays black. Maybe it’s not compatible with my Mac? The previous lightening one worked fine though.
My dad had this really ugly orange-haired monster mask that he wore for Halloween one year. He answered the door to a small group of kids, creepy music in the background and growled.
This one little girl was so scared she ran crying back to her parents and we never saw her again….
Okay… not exactly a prank, but still funny as hell
Worse eh? Do tell, I need ideas….just in case
Mike= hey dude! oooh ya thats a nasty prank!! good one! welcome to the doghouse too!
Crazygirl=!! hi!!!!!!!!!! *poink*~! that prank is soo easy and naughty!! LOL there’s also a few other cool pc tricks like turning the view upside down in windows…
Angel= thats funny and mean!! scarin’ lil’ chillins! tsk, tsk!! =)
Jethro= heeh, i have a lot more, i plan another prank post to show how truly evil I can be, that was just a warmup!!!
i’m
bad
Wow…your place is growing. Do you really visit all these blogs? What a bad boy prankster. xxxx’s
Excellent blog.
I’ll be back
Veronica= hi sweetheart!!! Smooch* of course I read them all, i try to stay up with every single one at least 2 or 3 times a week! They wouldn’t be in my blogroll if I didn’t read =)
Cyn= hi!! thanks and welcome to the doghouse!!
~!~
Holy shit dude, I would have to kill you for that!
I dig your sute bro… especially the diamond plate.
BTW, how did you get such a large header picture in your HaloScan? Since you commented at BlankForever, everyone has enlarged thier avatars!
tesco= hey dude! hehe, thanks, actually i just added the diamond plate a few days ago and Haloscan lies, you can fit pics up there that are at least 300×300 because I have a few times, i like to swap that image out a lot.
I been passing the word around about the Beta Haloscan features in a lot of places concerning the bigger Gravatars.
HAHAH I used to short sheet my mom and dads bed all the time when I was growing up. My dad told me what it was when I was probably 9. I don’t think he expected me to start pranking them all the time with it. hahaha Too funny.
you’re NOT the one I was talking about in my post, you goober.
Harley= LOL, thats funny a hell, you were a terror!! hahahaa!!
Celti= aww hon, I know that, silly! i was just sayin’ that i’m around and you got my number on IM. that’s all….and yeah, sometimes goober fits
*poink*~!
Pssst! 7!!! Four days and counting… might be time for you to e-mail a #.
Oh… my addy is: abellew@mchsi.com
Guess that might come in handy, eh?
Ok. Slap my ass and call me stupid; just checked my e-mail. Um, carry on…
**whistling the Mayberry tune and wandering off**
Love the new background… so you!
Just in case I hadn’t gotten to mention it yet….
da-dum, da-dum, dadumdadum…
POKE
Seven, thanks for the comments! You can always be my first