shorty long
There was a supervisor at the offshore construction company that I used to work for who’s last name was Long. I can’t recall his real first name but he picked up the nickname “Shorty” when he was in the Navy. Why? Because he was quite short, maybe 5′ 4″ or so. It was one of those nicknames where people didn’t have to ask him why he was called that. He was likable enough but really quirky and had some odd ideas on how, and why certain things needed to be done. If you worked beneath him you automatically hated his guts even though he was very friendly to everyone. I didn’t have to worry about that because I was also a supervisor.
Once when I had been offshore for nearly 3 months I got a weekend break and got to go home for 2 days. That meant I would spend almost as much time travelling to home and back as I would get to spend at home, but after that long you will endure most anything to get some good luvin’. Even an 18 hour long boatride in rough seas where everyone is pukin there guts up from seasickness. Upon my return, Shorty, in his dumbass way, actually asked me if I had done any hunting. Now almost anyone would know that 3 months at sea would make you one very horny boy and huntin’ would be the LAST thing I would do, and besides I wasn’t a hunter anyway. I replied yeah, Shorty, I had done some great huntin! I was looking for some double breasted, split-tailed mattress thumpers while I was in and I had a great time. The man actually looked at me shocked like he could not believe that I wouldn’t have gone huntin’. What a dope. Everyone in the area laughed at him and he got pretty embarrased.
The man also had the worst luck of anyone I had ever seen. One day me and a diver friend named Mike were on our bikes and we stopped in at the diving yards to pick up some parts for his diving helmet. Shorty was there and he was admiring Mikes brand new Harley, and wound up asking if he could test ride it. Now I can tell you right off there would be no way in hell I would let that dumbass ride mine, but Mike felt like he couldn’t refuse, because Shorty was his boss on the job, and not mine. Anyway the area of the dive yards is heavily populated with some super heavy duty equipment like diesel generators and hydraulic power units that weigh tons. Well Shorty got on Mikes bike and revved it up and took off hard and didn’t go 30 ft and he slammed head on into a generator, and actually made the generator move! Needless to say he did lots of damage to the bike that he had to pay. He was lucky he didn’t kill himself to say the least.
Shorty was into fishing and hunting and had a nice bass boat and trailer. He got off one weekend and, yup you guessed it, he went fishing! That is sad all by itself, but he had some serious bad luck that weekend. He had a friend with him and they were cruising out in the boat when the steering cable broke and he wound up running the boat quite a ways up in to the swamps and got stuck. They wound up stranded there overnight waiting for someone to pass by that could pull them out and tow him in. When they got back to the boat launch he backed his car down the ramp and loaded the boat up and locked the keys in the car with the engine running right there on the ramp.
There were many people waiting to use the ramp and he ended up breaking a window out of the car to get in. Of course he broke the drivers window so he had to sit in broken glass on the way home. Now you would think that would be enough for most people but not for Shorty! Hell no, he backed the boat into his driveway and accidentally rammed the outboard motor clean thru his garage door! Many times when I feel like things aren’t going my way, all I have to do is tell myself, at least I ain’t Shorty!
RSS Feed
maybe you could have taken Shorty waterskiin for gators.
so …. done any huntin’ of the double breasted variety lately – i hear they have lots of those in the metro atlanta area ….
Ack! If you tell me you worked for Kerr-McGee I’m going to holler. If so, I bet we have met in passing and didn’t even know it. Shorty sounds a bit like Daddy. Poor thing was born on April Fool’s day and it’s been down hill ever since.
Oh my god. Like a short man needs MORE to have a complex about! Poor bastard.
Mike= hehe no, bad things always seemed to happen all around him, one of us might have gotten eaten
Bitchcakes= you betcha darlin! one day i will be u thataway again and i’ll have to do a little huntin! *wink*
Kristin= no that co. name was McDermott Offshore Construction
Aimee= yep, i didn’t look at it that way tho at the time hehe
Angel= ya you could always depend on finding something funny to laugh about when you were around Shorty!
My nearest and dearest’s granddady was Shorty Long, too! He was one of the best guys who ever lived. And didn’t have near that bad o’ luck!
so eventually we all have nicknames…Mine in “jr. high” was rocky Mountains..K?
**CHOMP!**
G’night.
Great story, Seven! My brother is a hunter AND a lover, but the hunter part always wins out. He’s nearly orgasmic every time he can hoist a deer carcass up in a tree for all the world to see and admire. Then the rest of the family is called, and we gather for the official Ooooo-ing and ahhhhhh-ing that affirms his manliness. Once THAT ritual is accomplished, and ONLY then, can he go home and transfer his exhuberance to more…erm….romantic pursuits. I’ve suggested that his wife get herself a set of strap on antlers and some deer scent, but she’s just not that desperate yet. LOL
tee hee hee…poor shorty….tee hee
am I mean to giggle? nah….
tee hee
Tasty= hi ya gurl! ya shorty had some world class bad luck!
Judi= you wouldn’t happen to have any pics of those mountains? hehe
Aimee= ! you are the first one to bite me! see you are sooo cool!
Karen = strap on antlers!!! omg now THAT is funny
Celti= hehe everyone laffed at him why not you too!
Poor Shorty.
Cool blog!:-)
I’ve known folks like Shorty. I steer a wide berth around them. Fortunately, my intuition radar alarm goes off loud and clear which gives me advance warning to stay clear. Sometimes, you gotta wonder where their common sense went to.
So did he hurt the generator?
Sure am glad I ain’t Shorty.
Guess he got the short end of the stick in the height and the luck department.
GAH! I know that was baaaaad. I’m sorry.
man, with a name like Shorty Long, he should have maybe looked into being a pimp or something. poor guy. hee. i still laugh at his pain.
At least his name wasn’t Shorty Lacock….
Fishy= Hi and thanks!
Jeanette= ya, he always seemed to have
a black cloud hanging over him
Julie= just a few minor scratches, it had a real heavy duty frame around it
and that’s what he hit actually.
Trashman= hehe no kidding!
Catt=
Sid= he would have lost his ass as a
pimp , i’m sure lol
angel=
Hi there, five, six, SEVEN,
How are you today? I must say that button looks mighty fine:)
I hjust read your liver transplant document – was that always there? I can’t beleive I missed it – Wow, what hell you went through – I am so glad you are on the mend. I’ll pray that you keep getting stronger and stronger. Your mom sounds wonderful – you should share a picture of her with us all.
Well just wanted to return the nice comments you leave me:)
You have a great day and keep smiling:)
Fit, Flit, Flirt;)
Now Seven, that was a funny one. I can’t help be amused by other people’s misfortune. We have a family friend who reminds be a bit of Shorty. He’s also got a nickname.. he’s Mr. Nappy, and my dad is Mr. Nappyhead. All us kids are the little Nappyheads and the little Nappys.. anyway, he breaks bones all the time. He’ll just run into a wall one day and break a bone. But we do cause him some of his pain.. one time we were at Toledo Bend lake, don’t know if you’ve heard of it, and he had his boat at our camp overnight so my dad towed it out to the middle of the lake and tied it to a stump, then in the morning made him swim for it.
Great times… sorry for the lengthy comment.. lol.
I’m hunter too… but nothin’ stands in the way of lovin’!
Poor guy.. but far beyond funny!! One of these days, I’m going to remember to put a link to you on my blog….